Everything in ruins

My friend Sharon called me to tell me that her nephew died last night.  The 18 year old had gone in for gallbladder removal yesterday afternoon after not feeling well for sometime.  When the surgeon's made the laproscopic incisions, they found a mass, which they biopsied and discovered was malignant.  The young man was taken back to recovery, where he was able to come to and communicate with his parents before going back into surgery for the mass.  When the larger incision was made, it was evident that the cancer had spread throughout his abdomen.  As the surgeon's conferred, the young man's heart stopped and a beloved child, brother, son, nephew and grandson died just as he was about to step off into his own life.

After I heard about it, I went and looked at his Facebook Page and read his posts from Monday and Tuesday about not feeling great and tired of not feeling great.  He was excited about his surgury because getting rid of the gall bladder would make him feel better and he promised his friends and family that he would be up and back and better than before. 

Off to the side though was a quote from Charlie Brown, to the effect that he was afraid that when he was his happiest, something could go wrong and ruin everything.

It seems that the older I get the harder these events hit me.  Not because I'm having gallbladder surgery on Monday, but I've at least had a chance at doing something, testing myself, accomplishing things that others said I could never do.  He never had those chances we take as adults.  Thats what gets me.

So Monday when I go under it will be with a bit more trepidation, but I will emerge stronger, healthier than before because a little bit of him will be in me.