Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Another beautiful face, another unfortunate name...

You know, if your parents are going to do to you what this lad's did to him, your better face your fears.  Not a life for a Sissy with this name.  Hell, no!  And you would have to play a rough and tumble sport like rugby - just so folks know not to fuck with you.  Well thank God that he never played basketball, thats all I can say.  Or competetive swimming.  With a name like his it would be enough to clear the pool!

And just what is this angelic looking man's name?   Look here...

Natalie Kalmus on Television

purloined from  Jew Eat Yet?

You know what I love about the regulars to this blog?  We do such a good job of bringing what we know, and we all seem to know different things.  Take for example Norma Desmond, that star of stage, screen and murder trials.  I post something on Natalie Kalmus, he brings up her TV designs.  Then I go looking for said TV designs and I find another wonderful blog (Jew Eat Yet?) that has done a much better job at detailing Kalmus coloful rise to power, and far better job at detailing her theatical fall from grace.  All told, I think if you could get all of us together, you would have one Hell of a cocktail party.

Anyway, above is an advertisment for atalie's fun TV designs.  The are at once 50's devine, and yet so wonderfully different.  I think that she should have been a furniture designer and dropped that Technicolor job long before they dropped her.  If any of these still exist, I want one.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Bitch of Technicolor

In the early days of Hollywood's budding love affair with Technicolor, studios and producers were chomping at the bit to use the process.  Filming in Technicolor wasn't as simple as slapping a cassette of color film in the camera and filming much like we Luddites swap out Black and White Film for Color film in our 35mm SLR's.  The early Technicolor process used special cameras, loaded rolls of film that were shot and then processed into a finished product.

As part of the agreement that enabled studios and producers to use the Technicolor process, the contracts stipulated that a Technicolor specialist was required to advise the production on "color" and its correct use.  That job was held by one Natalie Kalmus, the ex-wife of Herbert Kalmus, one of the developers of the Technicolor process.  Every Technicolor film made until 1948 was subjected to her "advice" and they all include her name in the rolling credits.

Natalie's job was at advising producers and studio on set colors, wardrobe and lighting requirements, the idea being that Technicolor did not want a dull or harsh film to sully its fine reputation.  However, Natalie took her role to the extremes, and frequently meddled in production decisions, overruled wardrobe decisions and set decorations.  Obsessed with minutia, and the possessor of very profound personal tastes, Kalmus was known to interject her own sensibilities and preferences, Technicolor's limitations be damned.  She hated complicated color pallets, and dispised tertiary colors often outlawing "mulberry" and "teal" in favor of "lavender" and "green".

She fought with William Cameron Menzies on set designs, haggled with casting offices over the color of extras hair that they were sending over.  She fought with David O. Selznick on the Gone With the Wind set designs and the use of mustard yellow gimp trim in the confederate soldiers uniforms.  When Selznick provided her with the pallet provided by leading historians, she scoffed and insisted that the color, which she hated, would be distractive on screen (he over ruled her). 

Said one director of Natalie's meddling: "Had (Walt) Disney been forced to follow her direction, Snow White's pale pink lips would have bit into a sea foam green apple."

According to Wikipedia, "Director Vincente Minnelli recalled of making Meet Me in St. Louis, 'My juxtaposition of color had been highly praised on the stage, but I couldn't do anything right in Mrs. Kalmus's eyes.' " 

Director Allan Dwan was more blunt: 'Natalie Kalmus was a bitch.'

She was also known to show up on the sound studio, and after harrassing the production crew on lighting, and her special brand of sunshine to the actors giving acting direction to leading ladies and gentleman, as well as critiques on their skills. 

A real charmer, that Natalie.

That she ruled with an iron fist did her no good when push came to shove.  She was terminated from Technicolor when she sued the company in 1948.  Upon hearing that her reign of terror was over, one Hollywood producer sent a flood of Red Roses to the company offices in a celebratory gesture. She built few bridges in Hollywood and could muster no sympathy for involuntary termination. Natalie went onto design furniture and interiors, but her contribution to film is largely ignored.

So when you see any Technicolor film made between the early 1930s and 1948, watch for the credits and wait for Natalie's name to appear, and think about her contributions to early "color" motion pictures, and the royal headache that she was on set.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Rocky Week Ahead

It is going to be a one of those weeks at work.

It is going to be terribly stressful (and not in a good way), or one in which nothing out of the ordinary happens my little Bambi's.  So its a crap shoot if I will get to posting something.  So I have up'd my Lexipro and am girding my loins. 

Of course if you hear someone screaming bloody murder like a mad woman who has just seen a maniac running around with a knife, It could be me doing all the yelling.  Pay no attention - its a form of therapy.

Please be "dears" and be patient and I will get my act in gear soon.  Well I'm off - wish me luck!


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Ask Martha Smith-Standish: Dealing with the passive aggressive in your life

Dear Mrs. Smith-Standish,

What is the best way to deal with passive aggressive people?

Just sign me, Crabby in Cleveland

Dear Mr. (or Ms.) Crabby,

Thank you for asking for my advice on this matter.  A "passive aggressive" personality basically means that the person with the disorder attempts to manipulate a situation by being insulting, judgmental, childish and subtle.  The passive aggressive personality is not combative in an aggressive fashion, but instead weaves a web designed to trip the victim (usually victims) and prompt a behavior which then validates a confrontation.

The evil-genius of this personality type is that the passive aggressive person totally lacks self-awareness and responsibility.  It is never their fault.  It is always the fault of others.  I know that this sounds unfair, but to them, you are nothing more to them than mere mortal that must be crushed.  Like all good emotional vampires, they will never stick around to see the light of day and good reason.  They are only happy whilst someone is crying.  Remember that, or I may need to result to even more metaphors.

Unfortunately, you can do nothing to cure them.  And because we can not cure them (or avoid them all together) we all must deal with them even if they are the best at what they do. 

What I recommend is that you learn to diffuse them, in your own mind.  Prepare before you deal with them.  Ask them questions that are specific.  Record their answers.  But do not engage them beyond the specifics.  And as much as you may wish that you could, you cannot hold their noses (figuratively, of course) and ladle a good dose of smarts down their throats even if it would be the best thing for them.  So don't begin a heated discourse with them!

Remember, passive aggressive traits are not normal, so avoid these people in your leisure moments.  If you cannot do so, then limit your contact.  And unless they are immediate family, never feel guilty for leaving them of the guest list of invitees - there is nothing more miserable that cruising the Aegean Sea on your yacht with a passive aggressive tag-a-long.  It gives me a sick headache just thinking about it!

But if you feel that these people really ruin your day - and they will, given the chance - and you are unable to rid yourself of unpleasant thoughts about them, then see a qualified professional for advance coping skills.

Helpfully yours,

Mrs. Edwin Smith-Standish
Shaker Heights, Ohio

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Jeremy Mansion, Los Angeles, 1907

This is a picture postcard of the Jeremy-Monnette Mansion that once stood at 951 South Western Avenue in Los Angeles.  According to the Los Angeles Times, the Jeremy property (above) covered a whole city block, 200 feet fronting on Western Avenue, between San Marion Place (260+ feet) and Manhattan Place (200 feet).

The house was sold by the Jeremy family in 1907 for $50,000 (about 1.5 million in 2010 greenbacks).  Mervin Monnette, a banker and miner, was the buyer and owned the house until 1918.  Monnette then sold it to Albert Bagnall, for $85,000.  A businessman who had spent a number of years living in Yokohama Japan,  Bagnall said in an LA Times story in 1918 that he was looking forward to living in the house during his retirement.    In the 1907 and 1918 transaction, the contents for the interior transferred both times.

The site of the "Handsome 14 room mission style house" comprised of eight city lots, and the land "provided a clear view of the Wilshire District and the mountains in the distance."  At somepoint after 1918 the house was razed and commercial buildings built on the site.  A street, Monnette Place runs through the property now.

Who were the Jeremy family, and why did they create this impressive pile.  What year was it razed?  And what would you put in that third floor tower room if it were your house?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Are any of us worthy of this?

You first instinct maybe to watch and then shrug it off, but trust me darlings, its the dancing that sets this song of praise off the charts!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Me, seated, 1984

TBJ from SSUWAT said that it was time for me to reveal myself from behind the curtain.  So, even though I just know that someone (Norma) is going to say something like "and who is that man seated next to you", I am offering a picture of yours truely (sitting) and my long lost friend Bev Lanning (who, when I last heard from her was living in the Carolina's) at the Ohio State Fair in 1984.  She wanted to go see Willie Nelson at the Fair, so we went and posed in a photo booth.  If you are out there Bev, call us; update us:  we miss you madly!

People have said that this is a "hot" picture of me.  I have never felt that I am hot but rather "not unattractive".  It is a rather intense picture, though. 

The picture does remind me of what I looked like without facial hair, the fall following this I grew a goatee (such as it is) and its been with me ever since.

Touchdown Jesus burns after being hit by lightning


June 14, 2010

June 15, 2010

I understand that he was aresin.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Not aging well

Siouxsie Sioux looking like she's done the trail of tears.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Can you refer anyone you know to this man of exacting standards?

My peacocks and peahens, as you know, Cookie believes that there is someone for everyone out there in the world.  Look at all the people out there who are looking for love.  Some find it.  The ones who don't find it have no one to blame but their selves because they are either not willing to accept others as they are, or are just looking for it in the wrong place. 

However a friend who knows my optimism sent me a link to a Craig's List personal (the text of which appears below) from the city of brotherly love that could challenge that opinion:

Date: 2010-05-23, 5:13PM EDT
I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity.

-access to an abandoned warehouse
-old enough/built kinda awesome
-maintains good eye contact
-general intensity
-cool moves
-leather jackets ( I had to give the one in the pic back - long story, I can tell you when we finish)
-basic knowledge of knife/sword/bat fight etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me)
-can lift 80 lbs
-bachelor's in something or equivalent experience
-not a narc

Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I'm a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play "Beat It" over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you're the heter-bro I'm looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I've got laser tag too. I'm pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I'M NOT GAY.

P.S. - And I've gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now.

"They told him don't you ever come around here

Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear

The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear

So beat it, just beat it"

Location: Philly

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
While we applaud this person for being very specific as to his needs, they might be just too specfiic for many.  That and we feel that the photo makes a mockery of his insistence that he is in no way gay.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

CAPTCHA MADNESS: We are devastated, not to mention pathetic.

Well it seems over at Lethal Dose, that Miss Donna Lethal has forgotten about us {sniff}.  In a post about CAPTCHA MADNESS and how she and Norma Desmond are haunted by bizaare randomly generated CAPTCHA's, she has forgotten that yours truly has been a part of this phenom as well and have posted evidence to that fact right here, and here, and well, need I say more?  You're right, I should say more: and here and here and here to testifty to this fact. 

And even when I went to correct this aggregious oversite, the CAPTCHA MADNESS continued as it spewed out what looked to be "Pardin" to me as I begged the point.  But the fates are cruel.  And they don't use script flourishes, so what I got was really PARDIU.  But that "u" looked like an "n" so I'm claiming it and North America in the name of Spain to prove an unreasonable point.  What can I say, but I am pathetic.

Well, to say that we are heartbroken is an understatement.  We are, in fact, devastated.  So I will slink back into our home, grab a bottle of gin, a handful of Lexapro's and because I don't have any children, berarte our dog for being ungrateful for everything that I have done for it.


No, are you kidding, I just felt like causing a scene to prove a point {sniff}

Kiddle double entendre, anyone?

This one is going to take some effort, so try and follow me, OK?

If you were a confused little boy, according to 1960s American Mores, then you know what I mean when I write that I loved playing with Mattel's Liddle Kiddles when I was in Kindergarten up through the discovery of Barbie.  Liddle Kiddles were tiny - small little dolls with "huge haids" and strangely fabulous hairdos.  And you could pretend just about anything with Kiddles.  They could be fairies, or adults, or they could be be something in between. 

Each Kiddle had a silly name, like Greta Griddle, pictured above.  And Greta had friends as shown on this Liddle Kiddle book, entitled "Liddle Kiddles featuring Little Diddle, Greta Griddle and Florence Niddle"  Did you get past past "Little Diddle"?  But yes, you read that correctly.  One of the named Liddle Kiddles was "Little Diddle".  And Florence Niddle?  She sounds like the woman who lived in the assisted living unit in Menorah Park next to my Aunt Nan!

Of course we were too small to understand what "little diddle" meant.  But the adults who created these Liddle Kiddles should have put on their adult thinking caps and thought better of it.  By the way, Little Diddle perioidcally pops up on, so you can get a little Liddle Kiddle Little Diddle of your very own.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Dear God: I find an OSU Buckeye drool worthy!

Most people assume that because we live within earshot of the famed and noble Ohio State University Horseshoe that we are ennormous Buckeye Football fans.  They would be incorrect.  Oh, don't get me wrong - if the Buckeye's win we're happy for them.  We just refuse to take part in the time honored OSU Buckeye fan tradition of throwing ourselves out of the basement window whenever the Buckeye's lose.

However, this weekend, just over on the otherside of the railroad tracks and half mile as the crow flies at the Columbus Crew Stadium is the first ever Sevens National Championship.  Covered on NBC, we decided to watch because we find strapping young men in short shorts and skin tight short sleeve jersey's (which show off beautifully sculpted arms and cests) and because these lads wear no helmets, you can see their faces. 

For those who know even less about Rugby Sevens than I, its essentially seven men to a side, in two seven minute halves running a ball to score points.  They can run the ball up and down the field, throw it side to side and tackle one and other, steal the ball and it keeps moving.  Then there is something called a "scrum" in which three of these strapping young gods from each side butt heads and then wrestle around for control of the ball (which is white, not pig skin brown).  These boys pull down shorts, tear shirts and I swear when they tackle, they tickle the other side to get them to let go of the ball.

In the midst of these handsome hunks, comes this man pictured about - Nate Ebner.  He is, delicious.  And for this tournment grown a manish beard that makes him looks even more handsome than he is - and we're talking model good looks.  And let's pay tribute to his thighs.  Just look at them.  Muscular and meaty.  Yummy.  I know that some will protest to me objectifying him like a piece of meat.  But he also has this tragic and inspiring back story, which makes him, well someone you want to hold, as well as objectify.  Dreamy!

If you can, I highly recommend that you tune in and give this 30-minutes of your time.  You will not be dissappointed!

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Evil Hot Water Tank

The Evil Tank

Oh my dears!  What horrors we have discovered lurking in our basement that aren't locked in their cell!

About 20 months ago, husband and I had to replace our old gas hot water tank, which just gave out after 10 years of service.  Because we had no time to lose, we were flying out to see his family in two days, we did what lots of consumers do when they panic - we went to Lowe's.

While there, we bought a 40 gal., gas water heater with the Whirlpool brand on it.  We thought, well, its a Whirlpool, what could go wrong.  We as we just found out, PLENTY!

The beast just stopped working one morning before work, so I girded my loins, went down stairs, and tried to relight the thing.  But what was this?  No way to light the pilot light! The workings were concealed behind a small glass window!  So I called Whirlpool and found out that the unit is sealed and that you have to twist all sorts of dials and click an electronic spark thingy and it relights.  Well that was fine and dandy because that means no more singed eyebrows. Wonderful!

Until the next morning when it did it again.  So we called Whirlpool and nice lady helped me relight the thing and that was that.  Right? Wrong, it did it again the next day.

Well my dears when I say that I conveyed my concerns, I did so in a calm manner and they agreed to fix it - parts and labor.  However when the repairman got to our house, we learned an ugly, ugly secret: these tanks are lemons and break down frequently!  How frequently?  Class Action Lawsuit Frequently, thats how frequent.

We are besides ourselves with grief because now the morning drama is no longer "I'm I awake or does death just feel like life?" to "Will we have wonderful hot water shower or tepid showers?"

So we beg and implore you that before you run out and do what we did, call a plumber and have them install a Bradford White Hot Water Tank, which is the top rated tank and apparently never fails as our Whirlpool (an AOSmith product) did and will do.

Well, now look what we did!

Well it looks like I my hands are full of an unearthly creation of my own doing.  On Monday I did something stupid so all the posts got bunched up on the 1st of the month.  Oh, bother.

Oh, sure, isn't that just like life.  You think you can multi-task things, and before you know it, you are tangled up in a stretchy fabric and try as you might all it does is what you are doing.

Well, we'll be back after this weekend has a chance to freshen up our outlook on things. 

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Why don't 'cha take a picture?


Anyone for Fried Chicken & Waffles?

After seeing this - not me.

Peppermint Rainbow Returns!

This was on YouTube last fall when it got deleted over a copyright pissing match over Marilyn King (of the King Family Fame) got pissy over the fact she was appearing in the video. So someone edited her out!

Its just a nice reminder of a time gone by...