So the lab reports came back from ER visit that the husband insisted that I go to on Saturday Night and it turns out that I didn't have Diverticulitis attack after all!
"How was your back two weeks ago?" Doctor Bill asked over the phone.
"It was OK except for one afternoon when it felt like someone sent 220 current through right lower back."
"On a scale of one to ten, how would you have described that pain?" he asked.
I asked him if he meant before or after I crumpled to the floor.
"During."
"It was like a million. Hurt like nobodies business. I felt like I had plugged myself into an electrical socket."
That's when Doctor Bill told me on the phone that it was a KIDNEY STONE of all things!
A kidney stone? WTF?
He thinks that most of the diverticulitis attacks may have Kidney Stone attacks. "When even a small stone lodges in the urethra as it nears the prostate, it can wreck all sorts of havoc. And if your dick isn't working, your ass will go on strike too."
He told me that they found evidence of the stone in my urine.
"Be thankful it wasn't a 'spiny' stone, those hurt even worse," he gleefully told me. "When you pee'd the last of that nasty thing out, which was probably Sunday night, you got better, real fast. That's a Kidney stone attack."
So I'm to increase my iron intake, cut out my vitamin C intake, and I get to go to the urologist. AND the next time it happens I'm to go to the ER immediatly. "They take you right in with a Kidney Stone." Weee!
Anyhow, to take a page from Peenee , I'm throwing in a picture of a half naked guy - this time it's James West (aka Robert Conrad).
All you needed was a Peenee Parade high stepping it on your urethra shooting that stone right out clear across the room, out da window and burrowing deeply into one of the F&F's ear canals. Thus, leaving a part of you bee-hind.
ReplyDeleteHah!
DeleteOUCH!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou can use it as a paperweight.
ReplyDeleteyou can use robert conrad as a paperweight.
DeleteOooh, I've heard those are hell; my knees are so tightly pressed together right now, I think I broke something.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean you do NOT have diverticulitis?
As for Bob Conrad, I find it very difficult to distinguish him from you... except for the height.
Little Bobby Conrad; he IS magnificent. The highpoint of my young queer life was each week when he would get half-stripped and tied up somewhere on Wild, Wild West. Every. Week. No wonder so many men my age are fetish freaks.
ReplyDeleteWHAT!!!!! I go away for a few weeks and miss everything!?!?!? You've been hill?(Glad you're better?) You ARE moving to Baltimore after all?(Hope it works out) Robert Conrad is 4'11"??????
ReplyDeleteI think that Conrad was, MAYBE, 5'4", in cuban heels.
DeleteCuban Heels, giggle term!
DeleteOh dear!
I think there's a hideaway shop that sells them in Balto-more.
i had cuban heels once, so no laughing. they came from zayre's.
DeleteRobert Conrad was 5'8'. Yes, I know I"m late to the party...I'm doing my best to catch up by reading backwards.
ReplyDeleteNo problem. Better late to the party than to miss it all together, no?
Delete