Saturday, June 23, 2012

Bust A Moving Sale

Today was our impromptu moving sale and it started bright and early at 1AM when The Husband and I climbed into bed.

We spent last evening pricing all the piddly-assed little shit that we had no intention of moving, and pricing it all to MOVE at bargain prices that would have made Wal-Mart blush.   And thus we found the theme of our moving sale: BUST A MOVING SALE.

We have a system, that under normal conditions works really well.  We have a mess (a mess is ten or more) of purple RubberMaid tubs with lids.  As household goods are retired from daily use, they go into a tub with a price sticker on them.  When the tubs are full, its Yard Sale time.  You carry the tubs up, lay everything out on tables, have your sale, and then use the tubs to cart the left overs to the VOA or Goodwill.

This sale was different.  This sale was all about going through stored stuff, going through old boxes, looking on shelves and finding items that we really didn't want to move, at all.

Old knives, old records, books, books, books.  Doodads, pickle grabbers, books, books, books and more books.  Old VCR recorders, VCR tapes of G, PG and R rated movies.  And did I mention that we sold a boatload of books?

Anyhow, we were pricing things through 1AM, then we went to bed, then we were up at 6AM to get the signs out, get the dogs walked, get the tables up and the stuff set out to make it time for the 8AM shoppers who see a sign with an arrow and follow it even though the sale doesn't start until 9AM.

Since we never advertise our yard sales, we count on our signs on street corners.

And this is our gimmick:

'Go and look for bargains at greatly reduced prices, you filthy capitalist pigs.' 

We tell people to look for the "Tasteful Nude".

Stops traffic every time.

"If she were alive, she would be French," commented Pot Smoking Phil.  "She has that look of disdain of the bourgeois.  'Go and look for bargains at greatly reduced prices, you filthy capitalist pigs.'" We actually found her against a Campus area dumpster - someone's art project that failed to morph into masterpiece.   She'll make the move with us.

"That sure is some sign you got there," a toothless grit noted with combing through out books.  "Is it legal for you to show her 'dairies' in public?"

"Dairies?" Bob Wolf asked while thumbing through some architectural books we were selling, he face scrunched up like he smelled a skunk.

"Teats!  Titties!  Is that legal?" the grit wanted to know.

"Breasts," replied Bob Wolfe, "are allowable under Columbus law."  He was trying no to look at the man who had just called breasts "dairies" with booth revulsion and hysterics.

We sold everything save for about twenty non-book items, and four tubs of books.  So while the husband cleaned up the everything else, I took the tubs to a local Goodwill Store where hopefully, they can be sold and have the money do some good for someone.

 Total haul from out Bust-A-Moving Sale was $160.00.  Not a lot, but when you consider that 90% of the stuff was .25¢, and nothing was priced over $5 (and only four or five things were that high) we moved a lot of stuff on to better homes and out of our basement.

 At 4PM, I crashed and slept for an hour.

A nap well earned. So remember, next summer if you are in the Baltimore region and you see signs that say "Look For the Tasteful Nude" stop in and feel free to make our stuff, your stuff, and at greatly reduced prices.



  1. i had no idea you'd been an artists model 30 years ago.

  2. you sold a pickle grabber for a quarter? Madness - that is all kabuki can say.

    1. We have an extra. If Kabuki sends Cookie his address, I will send you the pickle grabber for a house warming present. Why? Because Cookie is a giver.

  3. "Goodbye Columbus"...good one, Cookie.

    If I'd known you had a pickle grabber, I would have asked you set it aside for me to use alongside my olive grabber.

    1. Oh, we have something special for Mistress MJ. Just have to figure out how to describe it on the Customs form...

  4. I'm not sure that showing "dairies" is legal in Balrimore...