Best of DHTiSH: The house with a creepy something special

While I'm away on jury duty, enjoy a slice of heaven - the best of Doing Hard Time in Shaker Heights.

from the pages of
TRUE STORIES MAGAZINE
September 1958

So what do you get with this "dream house"? Well you get a lot of Weldwood wood paneling - and we mean a lot - its a dream to take care of: why its like living in the enchanted forest, isn't it?

Besides regulation your living room, your dining area and your kitchen, you get a master suite, accessible only through a bathroom, off the kitchen, a breezway"area", two extra bedrooms (one of which is divided with bi-fold doors to form two smaller rooms, and a family room well away from the kitchen.

Get that: "Any woman would ENVY..." because isn't that what happiness is about? You know: envying you; you knowing that what you have causes that type of false adoration. Funny thing about this statement "Any woman would envy the mother in this story-book house" because it reminds one that if one did get this, that one need not reach any further in life. Say good bye to your dreams ladies - this is all that life should afford. Lovely.




And lets not forget that pool. Its been slammed into a skimpy room off the living room. Its big enough for a pool party, if everyone is in the water because there is no safe clearance around the outside of the pool for a normal person to walk. And don't forget that bulky bulkhead that leads down those pool water slippery steps to the basement!. Why its the perfect place for mother to sun herself like a lizard in the winter months!

But it is that picture in the upper right corner that has been innocently slipped in that should give any child reason to gulp, and gulp hard...



MOM'S STANDING ON THE BED should alarm everyone that something foul is foot: Mom is also peeping, no, Mom is peering into the children's room through a peep hole!

"John, wake up - Junior's touching himself again...you should go in there and spank the living daylights out of him!"

"For God's sake Helen, he's 30. Give it a rest!"

Fortunately for Junior, the door closes forming a soundproof seal; he won't have to pay for psychiatrist bills in thirty years because he could hear his parents having vocal coitus (thats what they called it back then) in the next room.

Lovely.