Friday, April 27, 2012

Who got it right, and who didn't read the instructions.

OK, so a couple days ago I had a post called What do you know, and I am shocked to see that only three of you bitches knows how to read directions!

How simple could I make this? My instructions were:

If you know what it is, respond to this post with a comment saying yes. If you don't know, then reply with a comment that says no.  Its that simple. 

Yes, it was that simple.   If you know what it is, answer YES. If you don't know, answer NO.

When I tried this on Facebook, I had a 90% success rate, but I had to tell on woman that she was report for detention because she kept crossing the line.

So why out of the eight people responded, did only three people, get it right?  Beats me.

First of all, the most fabulous artist alive, Unknown, got it right and scores a point for the team.  He wins the good will of DHTiSH, and go ever where and brag to his friends "I am careful, I am thorough and buzz me Miss Blue, I am a trustworthy Bee-Atch.

Secondly, Mistress MJ and Margaret got it right, but they then continued to add verbiage, which knocked them out of contention for the Grand Prize by .25%.  Still, I'm giving it to them.  They get to brag as well

Then there were Mr. Peenee, Pirate, Miss Plumbcake - who by the way wins DHTiSH's version of the illustrious "Governors Award" for combining the most humorous answer with the most ingenious use of the item - who just commented.  Which what a comments section is for right?  Right.  But they didn't win.  If I had a trombone and a mute, I'd be making the "so close, but no you didn't win sound."

But then, there were the answers from Carl of Carl's Laptop, and George W. Tush.

Evidently, neither of them read the following statement: "Don't spoil this for other people.  No cloy hints to others."

Let us just say that if I were going to throw a surprise party, or share a secret hidden treasure, that both of you guys would be out of the running.  I was looking for a simple "Yes" or "No", not a "I know it and I'm going drop a big hint, like the name".  

Remember in prison, no one likes a stoolie.  And I have worked inside prisons, so I know.

So when Cookie hits the big time, or I have to hide a body, I know that I can count on that artist extraordinaire, Unknown, to have me covered and keep a secret, and that I will buy MJ and Margaret a drink.  But Carl and George, sorry.  Not even parting gifts for you.


  1. LMAO!!!

    Cookie, there WAS a method to your Shaker madness!! Picturing you, belly up at the corner bar, flanked by the 2 "Garbage Verbiage Girls". There's nothing like AM TGIF!

    1. I've dropped a hit of Kreml in your drink, Margaret.

  2. I'm mortified at my social faux pas and I humbly apologize. I was at work, it's busy season, I shouldn't have even been looking at Doing Hard Time In Shaker Heights, but I'm compelled to do it. And how many
    freaking times can you revert to your roots as a shoesalesman extraordinaire? Huh, how many freaking times does someone ask what a
    Brannock is called, Huh????
    Please pardon me while I retie my saddleshoes. Now, shiv me and be quick about it!

    1. Carl, you are forgiven. I can forgive a man in saddle shoes anything.

  3. I am a perfect example of "Monkey see, monkey do." I left more than a simple "yes" because I saw the others doing so.

    In my feeble defense, you asked for a simple "yes" or "no" but you didn't say we couldn't leave a general comment along with our "yes" or "no" (as long as we didn't give it away or give hints.) Am I wrong?

    In any case, I've learned a lesson read more carefully.

    *notes that Margaret has fallen off her bar stool*

  4. Omigod, how ungracious! How unrefined! I am innocent! Innocent!

    The instructions were to "...respond to this post with a comment...." And so, gentle readers, I humbly did as I was asked.

    If this was a contest in reading comprehension, then everyone should have gotten a gold star. The name "Brannock Device" is right there, plain as day, on the photo. Talk about your "cloy hints." My "clue" hardly compares in severity to the smoking gun left by the creator of this calumny.