Monday, April 16, 2012

House is "having a little work done" to it

In preparation to the move that we may or may not be undertaking - and now we have ANOTHER six week wait in front of us before we get more news - House is having work done on it to make it feel younger and prettier.  What we're trying to do is get all the shit down that a housing inspector would find after we are in contract so there aren't any last minute surprises.

Durable Restoration sent two of it's hunkiest - jaw dropping HOT - employees to operate on House.  At these prices - they are not cheap, but House deserves the best - I was hoping for cute and instead they sent handsome and nice men to perform the procedures.  Seriously, these men are jewels.  One of them is built like a porn star and looks like Christian Bale's younger brother.

Today was Porch's day to have some tuck pointing performed.  So they have ground out the shitty mortar and are prepping the mixer to use a historically accurate lime and sand based mortal that is softer than cement.  Mortar isn't glue for bricks, it instead is a buffer between bricks that allows a brick to expand and contract naturally without grinding up the bricks around it.  In an older house where the bricks are softer, if you use a portland cement mortar, the mortar is too hard to allow the brisks to expand and they start to crack and spall.  This is what Cookie's college education taught him.

Tomorrow, if they get this finished today, they climb up on the roof and tuck point our small chimeny.


  1. You know, I'm a happily married man, but it's been years since anybody tuck-pointed my chimney.

    I'll have to speak to Mr. Muscato about that...

    1. If he does, remember to get your mortar dicked.

  2. I don't understand this; I live in the queer center of the world and yet all the workmen I get look like understudies to the Planet of the Apes. And not in a good way.

  3. doesn't anyone webcam their house repairs anymore? kabuki wishes for a voyeuristic mortar orgy.

  4. You could always hold up your camera phone and say, "I just want some before and after photos". That way we could all share the joy!

  5. Pictures! And not of the porch, if you know what I mean!