Inauguration Fashion Report

 Well, by now you know that our new President Joseph Robinette Biden, and so has our new Vice President, Kalama Harris, have been sworn in.

President Biden.

Vice President Kamala Harris.  

Doesn't that sound nice? 

While everyone is waxing poetic about the change, er, make that welcome change, Cookie is looking at the fashion statements made today. 

There were winners and there were losers. 

Let's start with the Winners:

Poet Amanda Gorman - Ms. Gorman's poetry and delivery were one of the day's highlights.  The former National Youth Poet Laureate, and Cookie predicts will soon be that National Poet Laureate, delivered a fashion statement that was both appropriate and stunning.  She complimented her yellow coat with a stunning RED head warp that popped with color. Straight to the point: Stunning. 

Joseph Biden, (Below) 46th President of the United States.  I won't post a picture of the navy suit and the dark navy overcoat, suffice it say he looked good, and the clothes fit.  One might not think that this is such a ringing endorsement, but after four years of Trump's sartorial misfires, this was a welcome relief.  Straight to the point: Biden is ready to get down to work.

Jill Biden (above) - our new First Lady surprised us all today with a teal dress/coat pairing.  Inaugurations can get overly Red, Navy, and White - remember that laughable choice that Kellyanne Conway chose in 2017?  Instead, Dr. Biden chose a classic fit tea dress in teal, accents with crystals.  The look was repeated in the jacket, which also features a darker teal collar, Jimmy Choo heels, and matching leather teal gloves completed the seamless look.  Classic and refreshing.  Straight to the point: Timeless and Elegant.

Kalama Harris, 49th Vice President of the United States.  The Vice President went with the safe option, which is neither good nor bad.  But the look and the symbolic color of purple was a good solid choice.  But it was the color of the purple that elevated the look. Vice President Harris (I cannot type that enough) went with a bright plumb, which was spring-like in its appeal.  Not an Easter purple, this had a vibrancy that was eye-catching and it complimented her skin tones, beautifully.  Straight to the point: Nothing edgy, all business.

Lady Gaga - in addition to providing her talents to delivering a near-perfect national anthem, for the day, Gaga made sure she had plenty of gaga all over.  Frankly, the only thing that she could have worn today that would have failed was the meat dress.  For the event, she chose a full formal red skirt and navy Schiaparelli number with a large gold dove brooch.   Larger than life for a larger than life talent. The only misfire was the black hair ribbon and the black gloves.  Straight to the point: All Business Gaga style. 

The Losers

Douglas Emhoff, the first Second Gentleman (see above).  Emhoff, the husband of Kamala Harris?  Did anyone really get a good look at our Second Gentleman?  Does anyone know what he wore? Buehler? Buehler?  It was grey, black and white. Pure Brooks Brothers.  Straight to the point: The was no there, there. 

Garth Brooks.  Cowboy, thy name is Garth did you not get the memo on how to dress for the event?  Brooks wore denim pants.  And a cowboy hat.  There was something boring, a black mock turtleneck and dark gray sport coat covering his chest and gut. This was the disappointment of the day. So bad, I am not even going to go looking for a picture. Straight to the point: Misfire.  

Jennifer Lopez. Where to begin. Where, oh where, oh wear.  Lopez stormed the stage like she was taking radio city music hall in an all WHITE-WHITE outfit including a nubby WHITE coat.  In my head, and out through my mouth came my mother (who is with me always) who said in my voice "She's wearing WHITE to someone else's big day."  

This was not the wonderful white of Kamala Harris' pants suit worn during her acceptance speech, this was a white that can only be compared to Ross Geller's teeth in Friends, appropriately enough entitled "The One With Ross' Teeth".  It was too WHITE.  A dear friend said she was channeling suffragette white, but no really. Accented with lots of pearls.  Lots and lots. Straight to the point: This was way too white. 

and last but not least, Cookie gives you the...

What da Fuck Award

And my What da Fuck Award for the day goes to...

MELANIA TRUMP, you remember her. "The Fucking Christmas Tree" Former First Lady.  The day for Melania was a bust in Washington for her departure.  I mean this was her BIG exit, and she looked like the "morning after the call-girl party" Dolce and Gabanna look.   But evidently, she decided to take a shower on Air Force One.  When she emerged from the plane, she had morphed into...

Mrs. Roper

Of course, this is a very expensive mumu. Or shower curtain. The New York Post, which covered this today, stated that it was a $3,700 dress.  It tells me that Melania is finally able to embrace the easy slow life in Florida.  Right after she signs up for that reverse mortgage on Mar A Lago. And complete's her application for a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy.  Straight to the point: Once again, she misreads the room.