Monday, January 11, 2021

I am so over this stuff: Cliché signs of the times edition.

 What art Cookie bitching about now? 

This is the post where Cookie states what he has never been on board with, but is so totally over:

Say it with a blanket


Whatever the fuck this blanket (and others just like them from many vendors featuring look a like woman, all standing on porches) is, it is poorly spelled, horribly word, and just plain ugly.  The ads have been showing up all over people's Facebook feeds.  The comments are a hoot - everybody ragging on the design, grammar ("Thanks you...") and the God damned fonts on these.  They look like they were designed by some fool who was squiffed at an Apple using Indesign.  I mean can't you hear some drunk louse caught by his wife making out in the car at the bowling alley ("...with that whore, Corliss...") saying these things to apologize? 

I will encourage you to try and read this damned thing and find the errors.  It's cathartic in a way that its creator never imagined. 


"Live, Laugh, Love." signs


Sweet Jesus, I hate these.  I understand the idea behind the sign - they are cheap to make, easy to sell to people who think they are "so cute!", but really - these need to be thrown out people.  The only person who is really going to be touched by this is the person who spent their money on something like this.   And make sure you buy one with the correct punctuation.  


"MANGIA!" signs



Unless you aspire to live in a recreation of an Olive Garden - and that better include the hostess podium - there is no reason to have a "MANGIA!" sign in your house.  Say it, if you are serving pasta, by all means, but it's forced and it's fake.


Rules signs

These come in a number of styles, all cutesy.  "House Rules" on the wall of your home are unnecessary unless you are running an illegal bar, gambling operation, a whore house, or all three.  They are not cute, they are cliche. 


Trust me, the parents of the people who made them grandparents were never this liberal with their own children.

SO...

If you see a trend, you are right.   Why take up valuable wall space with this kind of crap when you can have beautiful works of art.  

None of this stuff is creative or imaginative and NONE of this crap supports artists

Art inspires.  

Art adds color. 

Art makes you think.

But these signs are not art.  You've been sold a bill of goods by HGTV that these are art and they are not.  They are sold at the stores that sponsor and advertise with HGTV.

No one reads them.  

No one heeds them. 

And most importantly no one needs them.  

INVEST IN REAL ART!

18 comments:

  1. have never seen the blanket or the rules sign.
    my MAGAt SIL has an L/L/L sign.
    and ewwwwwwww, olive garden!

    yep, real shit here; the kind you find at cracker ass barrel stores.

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    1. I blame Chip and Joanna Gaines for this shit. They always include a sign that reads "FAMILY" in their designs. Hork!

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  2. I am shuddering as we speak - these rank alongside "whale-tail-and-'inspirational'-slogan" posters from the 80s and 90s, Hallmark card verses, and those so-twee-I-feel-sick Reader's Digest "Life's Like That" features. I hate them with a vengeance. Jx

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    1. Yeah, that whole "In my house we..." rubs me the wrong way. Seems controlling and fake. Because you know that woman is bossy as anything.

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  3. OMG Have you seen the ad on tv where someone rips a sign like these out of a young woman's hands and hurls it into a garbage can, much to her stunned disbelief? It's a Geiko ad I think, where an older gentleman is trying to teach young people how not to become their parents.... I about wet myself falling off the couch in uncontrollable laughter!

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    1. Progressive Insurance does those. I just saw it today for the first time. Laughed my ass off.

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    2. Those Progressive Commercials are hilarious... and so accurate. As a Great-Grandma, I cringe that so many of my generation are guilty of such shit so I'm glad to see parodies of it warning subsequent generations to knock it off and get an early intervention! *LOL*

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  4. I have always hated art-with-words with a passion. People starting out from scratch today have meager choices if they buy their art at discount stores. Of course, I would rather have blank walls than word art, but the other half of what's featured today is simple graphics (such as three irregular circles) degenerated from modern art. People today are deathly afraid to make a personal statement with their art.

    I never saw a blanket like that, but I have to confess that one of mine has words on it. It is covered with Ohio State logos in red and black, and repeats the words "OHIO STATE" and "BUCKEYES". I found it at a night market in Taiwan, and that was the only college blanket they had!
    --Jim

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    1. I have an Ohio State flag. But your blanket doesn't say "To my husband, who I love as much as much as OSU Football, maybe more..."

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  5. Too funny. And too true. Worse... people tattoo the walls of their hope with little sayings... literally stuck directly on the plaster. And ridiculous things like Dream Big, Be Brave, Show Kindness. Do they really need constant reinforcement?

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    1. Or the FAMILY or most dreaded EAT script applied to the wall over the picnic table that is supposed to be a folksy dining room table.

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  6. If I'd ever received a Girlfriend Blanket with that tripe on it, I'd of had to suffocate the guy with it. GAK!

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    1. Exactly. You want to show me you are there for me, give me a hug, walk the dog, but me a box of Mallowmars when I tell you I shouldn't. But a blanket that hound dog could sleep on. No thank you, Sqiffy.

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  7. All that stuff is a load of crap. Skata marigini. Shit served with oregano. I really hate that hypocrisy. You can be sure people who hang this kind of thing on their walls will stab you in the back at any time. Such bullshit. I don't eat their food and i don't believe in their stupid slogans .

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  8. Back when I was staying at AirBnB's for work, these were always plastered on the walls of those apartments....

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  9. I do want people to remember: Art makes you think, emotionally, intellectually, etc. and so. But this wall sign decor doesn't support artists, and it doesn't want you to think - it tells you what to think.

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  10. The blanket are mass produced in China. The reason they are spelled so badly is that a Chinese person did the translation. I agree this isn't art. art should have some deeper meaning. I do put up some of this but it is usually created by my own hands.

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