Saturday, January 6, 2018

Things my mother would have said, Episode 1

Underneath the pictures are comments that my mother would, and wouldn't say.  Or she would say all of them.  Maybe she'd just say nothing. Which one(s) would Cookie's mother say if she were alive and saw the following?

1) "Someone looks like she just wants attention."

2) "Missy there looks like she has ants in her pants."

3) "You know my friend Nevelyn?  Yes, you do - you went to school with her granddaughter Tammy. How would I know what Tammy's last name is - you went to school with her. Well, Nevelyn has a friend who had a sister who went down this exact same route and ended up in White Slavery. Said she was going to on Broadway.  She got the "broad" part down, she was running with a fast crowd and then one day - not a peep!  When she stopped writing her folks hired a detective to find the girl.  They found her on a boat in some place overseas; this what she had to do on the boat to keep the help happy.  Then when they got her back her she found Jesus, like he was lost or something, and now she has a show on Public Access in Columbus where she paints and yabbers away. She claims that she still has Jesus, but that, she still likes to dance around like this at the Courtesy Inn after a few beers in praise of "Him."  I think she's full of shit.  Jesus would never set foot in that joint."

4) "I used to have a body like that."

5) "Bet she got plenty hot when she got done."

6) "Can you go in the kitchen and get me some of that cheese in a can, and some Trisket's?  No, bring the can, I can squeeze my own cheese onto the crackers..."

Put your answer in the comments.


  1. I have the feeling your mother was quite somethings and of few I will go with #3. And #4... she was probably a dish.

  2. I'm loving #3 but I'm feeling #6.

  3. "Change the channel" wouldn't have come up?

    1. Are you kidding? Since when does a passive aggressive personality do anything to logically fix a situation? "there's is nothing wrong with me that a short nap can't cure."

  4. I'm going to have to agree with Bob: #3 or #6.