Monday, May 16, 2011

You write the personals ad

Ok.  I found this image on ebay where its been for sale for $6.99 for months.  I wonder why.  Seriously.

This brings up one of my questions in the search for universal truths.  Why do "big butch" men take pictures that run contrary to what they are trying to market, and then slap them into their personals ads?  Or they have body language that is at odds with their outfits.  Or you find a leather biker chomping on a cigar standing in front of lace curtains and a curio case full of Precious Moments figurines.  You know what I mean - you get a big beefy dude, all decked out and there is all this incongruent stuff going on in the background and you just want to ask, WTF?

So, your task, should you choose to take it on, is to write this guy (pictured above) "fictitious" personal ad.  You have the winning text, I will publish it here.  I'll even add you name and phone number if you want. 


  1. My meds have been changed but I'm still confused. Do we write as if we were him or if we were replying to his ad? I'll lay off the next dose until things are clarified. TB

  2. he's russian & surprise of surprises, has no taste.

  3. VGL "Bi" male seeks VVVGL masculine male for long romantic walks in the park, folk art fairs, candlelight dinners, and piss play.
    My interests include:
    Working out,
    Sylvester Stallone,
    Wall paper borders,
    Sour cream,
    Piss play,
    Brass figurines,

    No fatties or KGB please.

  4. Russian Orthodox Daddy looking for same. Versatile- we'll alternate holy days on who bottoms. Many interests including polishing my momma's icons,robbing convenience stores, ballroom dancing conventions, and showing truck drivers my "Big Rig" after I've drugged and stripped them. (on a side note, Jason seems to have experience writing these kind of ads)

  5. He's hung like a Frankenstein ,,,,,

    What shall we throw in now?

  6. Desperate. Seeking new icon for worship and good times... Let me impale you.

  7. Here's mine (though I can't win)

    Shy Russian Gay Male, bottom, is looking for a Ukrainian top to make me his czarina. I am 6', 200 lbs and a total bottom. Enjoy iconography, decorating and home leathercrafts. You must be straight acting, and hung. Cossacks, mob types or Putin look-a-likes go to the front of the que. Did I mention that I am total bottom? But always open to new expiriences.