Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Word on the street is "sex shop"

Here in Ohio, Mother Nature has canceled spring and instead has bestowed upon us Monsoon Season. We should be out in our yards planting for Mother's Day, but the rain is unending and its beginning to take a toll on people.  One of my bosses has become very crabby, while the other one has taken to resembling one of those character actors in jungle movies who clutches a bottle of rot gut booze while moaning about "the rain, the rain...my God the rain."

Its so bad that our dehumidifier has shut off in three weeks, and I swear that I am showing the signs of a mildew problem on me.

On Saturday we had a break and the sun almost came out in the sky and with all the warmth of an old maid New England librarian, mad us feel that maybe we would have spring.  So the residents of our street did Sunday evening what we do most summer evenings, we convened in the middle of the street and caught up with one and other and then we gossiped.

The buzz in the neighborhood is that down on High Street a "sex shop" is opening up on the first block of Clintonville.

"Is it really a 'sex shop' or is it just naughty lingerie?" asked one of the "womyn" on the street.

"Will they show dirty movies and have dancers in a peep show?" asked another neighbor who resembles Holly Hobby.

Oddly, though, no one seemed out raged, but were more bemused. 

"Where will it be?" asked the guy down the block.

When I told him it will be down the hill, near the arch over High Street - the one that reads "Old North Columbus", he wanted to know if it would be called, "Ye' Olde Sex Shoppe".  Doubtful, but you never know.

Columbus, which used to be the home of Larry Flynt's original sex empire and Hustler Club, has an odd relationship with adult businesses.  They are tolerated until they become tiring and then they get shut down.  This one could last a week, or ten years.  But none of us think it will be for very long.

But what we all want to know is, does it have something to do with the cruel Fillipina Dominatrix that has moved in across the street.  The woman who at various times lives with a young man and then a player to be named later.  She owns a business that develops tapes to help "you achieve those things that you thought were impossible.  Overcome fears.  Take your life to the next level!"  She also was running a business out of her house until the neighbor next door called in the police.

So for now we wait, for another day when it doesn't rain, and another evening when the setting sun gives off its radiant warmth and for the next pastie to drop before we know what kind of sex club it is, indeed.

1 comment:

  1. 'She owns a business that develops tapes to help "you achieve those things that you thought were impossible. Overcome fears. Take your life to the next level!" '