Thursday, January 3, 2013

Creepy Christmas Commercials of 2012

Now that Christmas is over, I can confess that two Christmas time commercials creeped the husband and me out this year.

Offender Number One debuted in 2008, and Folgers keeps hauling it out:

After watching this, ask yourself these questions?

1) Why did the son go to Africa?
2) Why did he wait until Christmas to come home?
3) Why didn't he have his parents pick him up at the airport?
4) Knowing how real life brothers and sisters get along, what seems off about the relationship between these two with their sly smiles and furtive glances?
5) Is this interplay a bit more intimate then you would have with your siblings?
6) Are you beginning to feel as if you are watching something that isn't right?
7) Isn't this the same vibe that you got from Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman in "While You Were Sleeping"?
8) If the sister is so happy that her brother is home, why didn't she call to her parents?
9) If your brother gave you a gift after a long absence, would you say "You're my gift." or would you say "What's in here?"
     BONUS - Would you say "Is this all?"
10) What does she mean "You're my gift?"
11) If you were on the verge of an incestuous relationship with your budding sister, how far would you go to get away from her to keep something terrible from happening?
12) Would you too choose Africa?
13) What kind of present is she going to give him later?
14) And why is it wrong, very wrong?

Your answers should be in full sentences, and Norma, no pink ink.

The second commercial will appear tomorrow.


  1. Who are those people that join them at the end?

    Are we about to witness an orgy?

    1. In a normal family, even if the prodigal son returned, the mother wouldn't wake up and smell the coffee and exclaim "PETER!". It would be more like "Ed, get up. Someone's in the house..."

  2. I saw this and thought the same thing, but not as well spelled out.

    1. What gets me is that they keep hauling this out year after year. Are this blond? My sources say yes.

  3. Yes to questions 1 through 14. This commercial always made me gag too and I thought the same thing ... why didn't they pick him up at the airport? And not only that, if the KNEW he was coming home, why weren't they up waiting?
    He obviously went to Africa with his church group (or for his Mormon mission) probably to change the gays to straight. He came home at Xmas and is secretly in love with his sister. There is an African contraceptive in the box and they are going to use it later. But it's okay because they really love each other.

    1. I'm sure the American Family Association would approve.

  4. Because of this creepy commercial, the word, "sis-ter" is elicits giggles in my house. That and, "'re my present."

  5. Oy--I loathe this commercial. It's cloying and insipid. I think Folgers and Publix make the WORSE commercials because they prey on the weak-minded idiots out there with their folksy, "isn't life wonderful with this cup of coffee" or "remember a time when" ridiculousness. "Your my gift" ? UGH. All I know is, if I were returning from a sojourn in Africa, my parents would be greeting me on arrival, not sacked out in bed. And most assuredly, my brother would NOT say "your my gift." As you pointed out, they keep dragging out this debacle every holiday season, but I was fortunate to miss it this year. Thanks a fucking lot! :-)