If you know me, and I mean really know me, then you know that there is one thing in this picture that I "just can't even" over.
The guitar.
Cookie has a morbid aversion to guitars. They imply that one never knows where the evening will take you. Even when you don't want to be taken for an impromptu troubadour's journey.
GAH!
Not a guitar in the hand of someone who knows what they are doing with it. Not a guitar in the hands of Lady Gaga, or Sting, or any number of talented people.
I am talking about the casual strummer-type guitar. Strum, strum, strum-strum, CHORD CHANGE. Strum, strum-strum...
The guitar that sits in a stand-in some home who is learning guitar.
The guitar sits unused in someone's house until a guest asks about it and the host says "It's probably so out of tune..." and then the guest decides to tune it for them.
The guitar that a coworker whips out a staff meeting and says "Let's all sing Micheal Row the Boat Ashore..."
The guitar that a neighbor takes out on their porch at night and starts to play Lay Lady Lay and instead thinks it is a song about Lady Elaine (Fairchilde) and butchers the words of differing worlds.
The guitar that gets named "Michaela", "Jonie" or "Rose" and played as if the finger of the chords is to bring it to a musical orgasmic outcome.
The guitar that a person who cannot sing "Pilot of the Airwaves" tries to play while they try to sing that song.
So yeah, dude. Put that pony where it belongs; put that pony in the barn.
You are ruining my buzz.
You obsess about that guitar, dear... while I search for the bowl where we put our keys... Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteNext to the poppers and Vaseline.
DeleteI betcha he can lay some really groovy stuff on that thing, though.
ReplyDeleteAll of Neil Diamond's ballads.
DeleteI think the guitar is just there to distract you from the fact that it is the coffee table that is set for dinner (for at least three, perhaps four*). I can't imagine anything more uncomfortable, especially with the regular dining table inches away. I hope the local cleaner's is good with white dresses.
ReplyDelete--Jim
Everything on this page could have been bought at JCPenney in the 1970s.
DeleteIs that room just one big sofa? They must have a helluva lot of orgies. Jx
ReplyDeletePS It could be worse. Your neighbour might have a banjo, and be practising that choon from Deliverance.
I actually had a neighbor who did play the Banjo on her deck and had her Bluegrass band that rehearsed with her. But that was back when I was medicated.
DeleteI don't know your life.
ReplyDelete