Dorian: There soon, but not enough, thank God

If you live within 100 miles of the east coast, you have spent the week wondering what Hunnicane Dorian is going to do. 

And it has been a painful seven-plus days  - 168 hours in fact - as Dorian lathered up its fury, destroyed the Bahamas at a painfully slow pace, and then failed to make contact with Florida.  Meanwhile, the President - who always enjoys being the center of attention tried to involve Alabama in his total absence of geographical knowledge.    The people who make Sharpie pens have enjoyed a lot of free advertisements for their product, that they most likely wish they hadn't had.

For us, it has been painfull - make that painfully slow - because eventually, one of two things is going to happen with a hurricane.  It either comes ashore and effects your weather, or it drifts out back to see. 

Dorian, after its trip to the Bahamas, has been reluctant to do what a hurricane should do: get it done or go away.

I liken Dorian to the sibling you are trapped in the backseat of the car with.  It's had it's a meltdown, destroyed someone's house and now a vexed Mother Nature has packed in the station wagon's back seat with you.   

Carolina: "Mom," you opine, "Dorian's touching me!" said Carolina.

Mother Nature: "Dorian, stop bothering the Carolina."

Dorian: "I'm not touching Carolina."  (And clearly, Dorian has.)

East Coast: "Mom, Dorian is hitting me!"

Mother Nature: "So help me sweet smoking Jesus, and I will stop this car and make you wish you had never been created!"

Dorian: "Why are you mad with me.  You CREATED me!"

And when it gets to North Carolina, Dorian will commit its most Passive-aggressive act along the east coast.   It is not hitting Maryland.  It's just going to be ungodly close.  Like the kid who is not touching his sister, but has that finger about a half-inch from her face.

Maryland: "Mom, Dorian is not touching me!"

Dorian: "Am not.  I am NOT touching you."

Maryland: "You are so not not touching me!"

Mother Nature: Maryland, stop falling for that.

We expect day of wind.  Not enough to bring trees down, but enough to blow over trash cans.  Not enough to cause panic, but enough to annoy. 

It could be worse - lots worse.  When Sandy came through seven years ago it was loss of power, loss of communications and a lot of trees.

We won't be out of the woods until November 1st.  Anything can happen.  And it usually does.