Saturday, September 7, 2019

The struggle is real, Babe

Hey Babe, I got your back.


This is the post where Cookie says that he has had enough with that oh, so 70s term of endearment, "babe".

I hate it.

I cannot tell you how much I hate it.

There simply aren't the words.

But I REALLY hate it when a couple starts "babe-ing" on each other.   It's the ultimate turn off.

He: "Hey babe, what do you feel like doing tonight?  Chilling at home, or a mellow movie?  You feel like a rom-com?"

She: "You know, Babe, I was thinking we might try that news Senegalise-Cuban fusion bistro at Coventry."

He: "Babe that is a most excellent option."

She: "Babe, I am going up to shower - would you call for reservations?"

He: "Sure thing, Babe."

Me: "Hork."

Such was the discussion I was forced to listen to during my last visit to Cleveland in July.

There hadn't been that much babe-ing going on since the wicked witch that was my step monster "Shark" and my father were fawning all over one and other.  She was a vile, skanky woman, that one. 

Babe this.  Babe that.  Blah, blah, blah, Babe.

And to me what's creepy about this: it's done in front of people and it feeds on itself.

When I gave "Shark" the stick eye over it with my father, the Harpy of Shaker Heights looked at me and said: "Since no one loves you, this is how loving people treat one and other."

This coming from a woman who was so insecure in her future with this man that she had to lie, steal and sleep her way to the middle?

So much to unpack.  So much that I wanted to shove off that balcony.  Anyway...

When you are caught between a "loving couple" who are babe-ing one and other, what's really going on is that they insist on playing out their relationship in front of you.  The more they "babe" on and other, the grosser it gets because its intimacy that no one but the babe-r's wants to be a part of.

My inlaws who were married for almost 70 years had pet names for one and other and they took those names to their graves.  Now that's love.  And its intimacy.

Now the movie, Babe is just downright cute.  But Babe, Pig in the City?  No.  Too much.  One Babe is fine, two? Stop it.

But all this calling one and other Babe this, and Babe that is like them taking their pieces parts and rubbing your face in them.  It's just gross.

Even the occasional "Honey" is fine, but "Snuggum Bugger Lips" is just over that line.

So the next time you get caught in a Babe Storm between two clueless people, remember - their struggle is real.

Barf.



10 comments:

  1. spouse and I use "dear", but not to excess and very rarely in public. and that top photo is just gross. hope he came away with a brown hand.

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  2. If Balder Half ever called me babe, I'd go into deep shock! I'm Pudge or Pudgebear. I'm dear if he's feeling particularly hen pecked, as in "yes dear" "no dear". I loathe that!

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    1. Right, but you are Babe and reBabe. I mean in a normal conversation - a "Babe is one thing. But when it starts sounding like the chorus of a Sonny Cher oldie, come on, Babe.

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  3. Reminds me of that classic Dorothy Parker ("Constant Reader") book review:

    "And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up."

    False twee-ness. I'm with the divine Miss P. And yourself.

    Jx

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  4. Worse still, Bae!

    I really hate that one.

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    Replies
    1. Uber Conservative Patrick Buchanan's sister Angela Marie emerged from her childhood at "Bay Buchanan" so nicknamed because her brothers said she was "Bay Bay" of the family.

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  5. a guy I knew used to call his girlfriend 'babe'. I finally asked, "is she a blue ox?"

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