Sunday, January 22, 2017

Kellyanne Conway doesn't nail it.

Cookie hates to admit it, but in the land of politics, no one currently does a better job of controlling a conversation than Kellyanne Conway.

Love her, or hate her, she is a very talented professional at steering the conversation, dominating it, and redirecting it.

Now we are not going to talk about Gucci Coat that made her look like a nut cracker, which matches he personality.  No, its her grooming that catches our eyes.

Now, about 30 years ago, Cookie worked in a financial institution and oversaw a line of tellers that interacted with the customers.  For the most part, they were all kick ass awesome tellers.  Every now and then you come across a teller who wasn't so great. And we had to let one go when she panicked over a very old twenty dollar bill and called a customer a counterfeiter.  (NOTE: If you ever get a $20 bill and the Truman balcony isn't on the picture of the White House, check the date of said $20 bill.  If it was made before President Truman was in office (1945-1953), then it won't have said balcony on it.)

One of the best tellers, and a consistent whiz bang at balancing, helping other tellers out of balance balance their drawers, and kept the neatest, cleanest cash drawer I have seen (during surprise audits) was a woman with three male names, Mickey Scotty James.

Mickey's work was beyond reproach.  She was excellent.  She was reliable.  She was impeccably dressed.  She knew our product line backwards and frontwards, inside out and she was an amazing cross seller.

But I began to notice something about Mickey Scotty James.  Her handwriting was beyond horrible. She wrote like my grandfather printed in the ninth decade of his life. Jittery, jagged, ragged letters spelled out words that drifted about the page like a drunk sailor trying to find his way back to the dock.

And there were her hands, and her nails in particular. These were nails that even Madge would throw up her hands and walk away from.  No amount of soaking in it would fix them.

She would gnaw at her nails like a nervous fiend.  They were stubby, and almost down to the quick. When she lacquered them, they looked like the lacquer was allowed to partially dry before she brushed them out.

Now I later found out while talking with Mickey Scotty James, that she had a horrific upbringing, suffered child abuse from a nun who clobbered her for the slightest imperfection, and so she excelled at work, she was filled with self doubts.  So the biting the nails was a safety valve of sorts, it relieved the pressure of what she had to do to get through the day.

And there were other perfectionists that I have met in life who have something about them that weighs out that craving for perfection.  My friend Carl dated a high profile tech CEO who was at the top of her game, but would retreat to a room in her apartment for an hour each night where, as he later found out, she would hug a stuffed animal and suck her thumb.  Frankly if I had her job, I would do the same.  But Carl struggled with this, and while the relationship continued on for a while, he couldn't see past it.

What does this have to do with Kellyanne Conway?

And lov at her face, her hair and hands.  Tragic for a woman born in 1967.  I kid you naught,

Well, today I witnessed her "Alternative Facts" meltdown on Meet The Press, and was looking for how the media covered it.  And the picture of Kellyanne checking her hair in the picture above shows Cookie something I have never considered.

It looks like a bit of Mickey Scotty James.

Look at her nails.  Those are gnawed down.

So my question is - is one of Washington's biggest bullies filled with questions of self doubt? Is she over come with stresses?  Does she know, deep down inside that she is on thin ice in the role she has picked up and that this pony she attached herself too cannot go the distance?

Or does he just have a hygiene problem?

Whatever it is, Cookie thinks its sign that there is something going on within Kellyanne that is causing her a great deal of conflict.


  1. well, let's see...smellyanne has wrinkles, bags under the eyes, too much eyeliner, a big nose, and is that a wig? and lose the cleavage; there's no boobs. she could pass for cruella deville in a pinch.

    in reality, the bitch lives in an "alternative universe".

  2. Google the hilarious (and scarily accurate) SNL clip from this weekend.
    Conway as Roxie Hart
    I'd embed the clip but don't know if Cookie wants to open up that can of worms.

  3. "Alternative facts" ... "fake news"...

    I can't keep up.

  4. If you think she looks bad now, wait till the four years is up. She'll look 90.

    1. Sweetie, do you really think she can make it four years? Look at her. Bitch was born in 1967. She is not fifty yet in calendar years and she already looks like she's pushing her mid 60's. Better be careful what I say. Bitch is already compiling a dossier on me, I am sure.

  5. I just saw this picture on an article and noticed the same thing about her nails. There's something about her demeanor already that reminds me of a person who's falling apart and this just adds to that picture for me. I was curious if anyone else had noticed this and Google brought me here. I wonder how much all this alternative facting is eating away at her. I feel a little bad for her, but that doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't trust her if she told me my own name.