Saturday, August 22, 2015

What fresh Hell have we signed on for...

Cookie is not having buyers remorse, but it is quite clear that the new house is a bigger project than we thought.

But first of all, let's address these two idiots in the illustration.  They are painting metal kitchen cabinets without a drop cloth.  Fools.  Those metal cabinets need to be sprayed, not brush painted.  And they must have been drinking because no one is that happy to paint metal kitchen cabinets.

Back to the real world.  Anyway, as I was saying is that there seems to be a great deal more to do at the new house than we thought.

Cookie can work with electric and wire with the best of them.  I am respectful of the power of the bus bar.

Cookie can also sweat copper pipes with the best of them, but I don't mess with gas pipe, because Mama didn't raise no fool.

But Cookie has run into things in the new house.  Things that have required, dare I say it: PROFESSIONALS.

Mostly its been with the electric.

The previous owner was a retired electrical engineer, and he "dabbled" in "projects".  That right there tells you that nothing is connected in a logical fashion.

So when it came time to install the fabulous 1950s pierced saucer lamp that I have been schlepping around for the past 20 years in a box until I found the right room, I called in the professionals.  At first even they were perplexed by what they found.  When they started removing ceramic wire connections, I poured myself a drink and let them have at it.

In any event, I didn't have $250 to pay them, but it was worth the money.  The 1950s saucer lamp looks boffo.  And the Ikea light that we bought $20 looks boffo in the kitchen, too.  So much better than that yellowed fluorescent nightmare from the 1980s.

Still, I am worried about other electrical issues.  Like four way switches that date to 1928.  We have lots of them, and they are not a fast fix.  These I can handle.  But the electrician is coming back in a couple weeks to work on some other core issues, which include some scarey outlets with strange plugs.

Then there is the BLOB in the back yard.  There is a section of yard, that is mostly swampy, that has become a blob of think, very tall, grasses. How thick?  You would expect to find the baby Moses floating by in a casket.  Anyhow cat has made a den in the bullrushes, so to speak and the dogs have been driven absolutely crazy mad.  Poor Kevin went into the blob the other night to get said cat, and we had a serious time freeing him from it.  Next week I am taking a scythe to the mess and chopping it down.

Until next time, send positive karma to me.  If you happen to see Holmes on Homes, or Yard Crashers or Bath Crashers or Kitchen Crashers, send them our way as well.

Cookie needs the help...


  1. Do you have a septic tank? That backyard blob could be a leaking system which will cost tons of money to fix. could be a leaky water main, keep an eye on your water bill and see if the gallons used makes any sense to you.

    Good luck on this total re-do! Please show us the lamp!

    1. Thank God, no. We have sewer and water, piped from the street. Trust me, before my senses took over that was my first thought.

  2. In Taiwan, I have come across the same bizarre non-standard wiring, extra wires, etc., in which case I emulate you and leave it to a professional. With old houses, I always respect the electric service, and never assume that it is really off. Often there is more than one input line, so even if the power is cut at the main switch, or by the electric company, current can still be flowing.

    Good luck and keep safe with these projects, Jim

    1. Yes, respect the wiring. But the GOOD news is that we don't have knob and tube, but CBX (cable in a flexible conduit), Its just how the mess is put together that worries me.

  3. "Blob" - ? I think Biki Honko is right. And wasn't there something septic-tank-related at the very beginning of your house-ownership ? A nice little excavator may come in handy.
    Good luck with the engineer's "projects", one man's individual fulfilment may be another man's personal fire hazard, ach ...

    1. No leach field. We're thinking that, based on discussions with neighbors that its former flower bed that went weedy and allowed to overgrow.

    2. Someone vanished from the neighbourhood some years ago ?

  4. I worry about the Blob. It sounds septic if there is one. If not, who knows what might be lurking there ...

    As for electric? Honey, no, not me, i am too shocking as it is.

  5. Replies
    1. And you know, I would break something so it could be something if it weren't anything at all.

  6. Enough with the derogatory BLOB comments. {sob}