Thursday, October 27, 2011

What the doctor found when he examined me...

So as part of my Med re-balancing for the SADD treatment I had to go to my internist and have him check my levels and my heart and blah, blah, blah out.

Now, I love my doctor.  He's ten years older than and so fucking cute it's unnerving. And he's gay.  And I have desired him since I first saw him in 1983.  He's a just a total doll.

So I'm taking my shirt off and he was looking at the screen and typing things into the computer and he asked if the stress level from work had gone down (no) and if the meds were working (kinda)  and says whats wrong (Damn computer) and I said that Tuesday, I had some odd chest pains and my left arm went numb. 

So he looks at me and says "shortness of breath? No.  "Dizzy?" No.  "We'll do an EKG you could have had a minor episode."

And I asked "Angina?"

And he turned and looked at me, dead serious and said "Who has a mangina?"

There was dead silence. "Did you take up fisting?  What have I told you about that?"


"Your mangina.  With your history of diverticulosis you are the last person who should have your mangina stretched."

Then he thought about it.

"Did you say "Angina"?"


"No fisting?"

Never - it's an outtie, not an innie.

"You thought it was Angina?  I don't think it was Angina.  Probably stress - your blood pressure is high.  I'll write a script for some Xanax."

But what about the mangina?

"Where did I get that word?" He shrugged his shoulders and said "I know some guys who love to fist.  They would have manginas."  We smiled, and I went off for the EKG.

Everything is fine.  I have my Xanax. I prefer meditation.  But I have to stop this visual image of my head with manginas.


  1. Good to hear that it wasn't anything more serious. I hear manginas can be a huge problem!

  2. The physician's assistant at my doctor's office is best described as, "sex on legs", so it is always a challenge to remain focused in his presence. Once, during an exam to determine the source of a swollen ankle, I had my pants off while he palpated the length of my leg. I finally had to say, "Harry, you need to stop. I need a minute." He said, "Does it hurt?" and I replied, "Not exactly" as I folded my arms across my lap.

  3. But I have to stop this visual image of my head with manginas

    Then you don’t want to see this.

  4. The DOCTOR said that?! Oh my good god. And I know better than to click on MJ's links.

    My SADD used to start Sept 1 when I lived back east. Oh, I love CA! Yay for Xanax, although I prefer klonopin, but that's just me.

  5. Klonopin, sweet Klonopin.

    And if you saw my doctor you would melt. Boyish good looks that are aging so beautifully.

    He removed a hemroid from my arse once and after he shot the vein with lidocaine (you have to wait a moment or two for it kick in) and he said "I need to get my camera - I think I see Jimmy Hoffa." Laughter is the best medicine.

  6. I'm happy with my no-name run-of-the-mill beta blockers. Anything that helps to relax ...

  7. I want to know what's going on in your neighbourhood.

  8. You are making me more afraid of doctors than I already was.
    I mean a cute doctor saying anything remotely similar to mangina?
    God, at least he did not say that after " turn your head and......"

    I love your blog.
    Now turn your head...and...write more..

    tim in the loire

  9. Christ! Even you're doctor's telling you to stay away from fisting. Are you EVER going to listen?????

  10. Theaterdog, bless you.

    ilduce, I actually know someone who had a Lord's Operation because it made the activity easier.