Thursday, April 27, 2017

"Everything But the Cottage", but a buyer without manners

No, this would never be in Cookie's house.  It's too Shaker Rococo for my tastes.


So there is this web site, which I shall not name, but will call called "Everything But the Cottage".  Think of it as a online tag sale without the pleasure going through someone else's former home and gasping about how terrible the wallpaper is.

I don't buy from the site often, unless its something that 1) I like and 2) They misidentify, which happens more often than you think.

A couple years ago I scored some 1920's mantle lights, iron frames with the original mica shades, which were not perfect but one of their employees described as torn paper.  $15 dollars and I got lights that are beyond fabulous and would have been $300 in a shop.

So they had an auction, and I scored a 1980's style block print rug that will look fabu in our 1980s style guest room.  Trust me, by 2025, the 80's will be BIG again.

Part of the deal is that they will ship it to you, OR, you go pick it up.  Since the warehouse was close by, I schlepped to get it.

Well, the rug is a monster and they rolled it lengthwise instead of width wise.  So it really was difficult to wrangle.  It was so big, I had to throw it off the loading dock.  One person couldn't carry this thing down a flight stairs without either the jute backing or my neck breaking.

At the same time, an Eastern shore grit couple had backed their truck up to the dock and the husband was having one hell of a time picking up a lovely Mitchell Gold sofa by himself, while the wife gummily said "Don't be ripping that fabric or Trevor is (air quotes, here) *gonah* have a fit."

So Cookie, that is I, offered to help him load the sofa.  And I helped him load the two chairs.  He thanked me.

Then as he was tying all down, I was left to wrangle the rug into the Prius.  It not only wasn't easy, but it was a Sisyphean effort.  It would get in so far and then get stuck.  You could push, you could pull.

So there I am wrestling with the rug like he was wrestling with the sofa and do you know that kind man did?

He smiled, bellowed "Thanks again!" and then drove off.

Mother fucker.   Or is that Motherfucker?

Still, considering what I paid for the rug - which is going to look FABULOUS once its cleaned and installed, it was a small indignity to pay.

But still, this is what makes me nuts about this place.

Meanwhile, said site just sold a "Dress Up Baby Jesus Statue" on its site.  Sometimes you just wish you had symbols to clang on someone's head to get their attention and scream "IT'S THE GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING INFANT OF PRAGUE you ASSHATS!"

Well, there now.  I feel better.  

3 comments:

  1. It is no wonder that "Antiques Roadshow" steers clear of Redneck territory... Jx

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    1. So far they have never been to Alabama or Mississippi.

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