|Receptionist desk, GM Technical Center. Designed by Eero Saarinen.|
You know, there are times that you get so buried in a project that you feel alone at your desk - quite alone. And that is how Cookie has been feeling of late.
In January I took on a HUGE family scanning project for a cousin in Ohio who is dying. I literally got in the old Prius and hauled ass on a whim, and came back with cartons of his mothers and grandmothers images. Since January I have scanned thousands of pictures, back and front.
I used to love scanning images, but my mind can only take so many at a time. But with thousands of them my mind has grown numb. I am unable to think things through.
I feel like this woman sitting at the reception desk. Isolated. Alone on an island.
The project is coming to an end. Really, I have one album of cart d'viste pictures to do and then code in the meta data and Cookie is finished until September.
In September we have been invited to stay for a long weekend at the home of my third cousin and view her collection of family images.
That I find in joy in this is a blessing.
Though it has me a bit concerned. In my mind are thousands of names, stories and facts. And though I am fifty four, and not planning on going anywhere, anytime soon. I am getting concerned about what will happen to what I know, what I don't know and what I long to pass on.
When you work on researching a family so thoroughly that you get to know the people you are researching, I feel as if I need to keep on doing this because I don't want to let them down. They all have stories that need to be told.
"Well then," people will say, "write a book!"
As someone who has written books and seen them published by a real honest to gosh publisher, easy said than done. I can write. But I don't enjoy writing.
It leaves me feeling like this woman - alone and isolated.
And I am feeling that at fifty four, I need to look to other things so when my time does come at a ripe old age, the funeral home isn't empty because I spent so much time documenting and doing for dead people when maybe I should be doing more for the living.
Something to ponder.