Friday, September 24, 2021

Current Mood: SADD

That's me, on the right. 


It's the first couple days of Fall, the earth is now headed in the direction of the Winter Soltice in eighty-seven or so days and Cookie is having his annual onset of Seasonal Affective Disease Disorder or SADD for short. 

My version of SADD tends to begin in the waning days of August, picking up speed just in time to crash into November, the most dreaded month of months for Cookie.  Yes, I know that fall clothes are supposed to be the funniest, sweaters (jumpers) and all - including the scourge of our lifetimes, Pumpkin Spice - but to Cookie, fall will always mean the onset of the "grey" - that filmy cloud that descends over my senses and makes me feel horribly alone, blots out lasting happiness, and ennui strikes to my very marrow. 

It's not my first time in this rodeo. No, this has been going on since childhood.  1995 was the worst.  That was the year that I was being set up at work by a lousy boss who had me believing I was the problem.  That was the year that I almost drove my car off the road at a high rate of speed to end it all, and that was the year that a medical professional listened for once and gave me a diagnosis that made sense. 

There are many of us with this affliction.  But it strikes at different times of the low sun months, and at different levels of intensity.   As I said, my worst month is November.  Then I start climbing out of it.  By the Solstice, things are looking up.  My MLK Day, I know I can get through it, and by Ground Hog Day, brother it is s spring in my book because that is the season I love the most.  I have a family member who does fine until January and then drops into the abyss, only to reemerge in April.  A friend goes over the edge in October and then struggles until March.  It's different for everyone. 

Still, it's not a disability for me, like it can be for many.  I just become very bear-like. So I am more fortunate for most. 

Anyway, if I post Hood's poem, "November" you will know that I'm not in a good place.  I will summon up the will to be happy in a few days.  After all, November IS the month for dressing balls and other home-cooked delights.   So there are some good things to look towards!

You only need to be alarmed if I post a picture of me eating the turkey-shaped candle so traditional with Americans of my age.  


  1. I sympathise, sweetie. I may not suffer "IT" as badly as you seem to, but my dread day is the middle of October when the clocks go back, "British Summer Time" ends, and everything starts to rot away. Autumn is not a season to which I look forward. I despise winter - and all that false jollity around Xmas - and I only really start to perk up once New Year is out of the way, and I know we have snowdrops and Spring bulbs to look forward to (and our traditional week in Spain in February to plan for)... Jx

  2. I am sorry you are getting your seasonal mood disorder. I always enjoyed the long days of summer, but was not particularly cast down by the darkness of winter--I was more upset by the snow and ice, especially after I began to drive! Here at a more southern latitude the days are shorter in the winter, but not to the same degree as in the northern U.S. Perhaps this would help those with SADD, although you still have to deal with the brutal summers.

  3. I know your pain. I am the January to March sort. The holidays distract me enough... but those three months at the start of the year are horrible. The deep cold is not my friend. I am sad to see our days growing shorter and shorter. We lose three minutes a day! As I write this, my allergies are so bad that I simply want to climb under the covers and stay in bed until April 1st. Kizzes. We'll get through another one...

  4. I am empathetic to your disorder.

    Have you tried light box treatment/therapy. I knew a few patients who would come in for their light box treatment and they were acting like they were 21 again.

    I have never been much affected by the seasons. I had a a work acquaintance that moved from Denver to Seattle and only stayed one winter. It almost did her in. She moved back to Denver and all is well.

    My favorite times of year are Fall and Spring. I love the briskness of the weather and the new awakenings of tress, flowers...

    Stay healthy!