Sunday, September 27, 2020

Wishing everyone a meaningful and fulfilling Yom Kippur

 

Cookie has done his time in retail and I have seen pretty much, it all.  A gun pointed at me during a robbery, shoplifters, the "raid" by the woman who called herself "The Worthington League For Decency" where she sent her six-foot-tall son into our retail book store to pick up a copy of Playboy two inches off the top rack so she could charge us with peddling smut - I have seen it all.  

I even had to deal with a best selling diet doctor - Dr. Stuart Berger - from the 1980s who was at the top of his game, in town for a signing.  He insisted and insisted that I come by his hotel, do a couple lines, and have unsafe sex. His hands were like tentacles, everywhere, but I got him through the signing, gave him someone else's phone number, and told him to call me.  (No, I never would, and I never did.  The man was vile.  He died in the 90s from an overdose and morbid obesity.)

But what topped all others was my stint working in Pikesville, an area of Baltimore with a high Jewish population.  The problem was always around Yom Kippur, and it was gentiles who meant well, coming into our store where I worked asking for "Happy Yom Kippur" stuff.  

Happy Yom Kippur cards, party invitations, cookbooks, and stuffed animals for gifts. 

In my mind, it was always "Yeah, it doesn't work like that lady," but in practice, it was my cue to be helpful, help them - gently - see Yom Kippur for what it is - a time of reflection, atonement, forgiveness, and to ask G-d to write your name in the book of life for the coming year.  People can learn if you are kind. 

"Well, it's not a Hallmark holiday.  It's a serious day of introspection.  One looks at how they have lived in the past year and if necessary - and it always it - extend apologies and accept them.  And there is fasting, a symbolic act of yearning, and to understand how others feel their hunger."

Everything gentle. 

Now, every now and then we'd get some bellicose ass in who wasn't taking no for an answer.   But for the most part, people wanted to show support for their friends and neighbors. 

My store manager, an older woman said at a staff meeting the first year that we should suggest gift cards as presents.  

"No, this isn't a holiday for that.  The only thing you give is of yourself, and humble acts."

"Not even a card?"

No. Just stop it.  "It's about you, not merchandise.  Jews have enough days to give merchandise.  This isn't one of them."

The second-year I was there, I jumped in front of that bus before she could utter the words. "You weren't going to let me, will you."  No, I was not. 

Corporate wanted us to sell merchandise, and we did.  But not for Yom Kippur.  For Passover, buy that stuffed lion for the little girl next door.  But for Yom Kippur, the greatest gift that non-Jews can give Jews is respect for the day, some breathing space, and if you borrowed a hammer from the neighbor, return it and ask for forgiveness.  We'll be happy for the hammer and the bonus of saying that they can let you off the hook. 

So, for the next 24 hours or so is about looking inward, becoming better people, seeking forgiveness, and giving it.   Give it a try.  It might lift a burden or two from your shoulders.



4 comments:

  1. Too much guilt for my liking. I don't DO guilt. Jx

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  2. may you be written in the book of life for another year, cookie.

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  3. Happy New Year. I think that this year's Yom Kippur gives everyone an extra opportunity for reflection and to figure out what personal values we now need for going forward.
    --Jim
    p.s. I kind of like the surreal idea of the Yom Kippur Cookbook--are you sure that John Waters was not the customer who requested it?

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  4. I used to provide daycare for parents at the local synagogue during all the holidays. The sense of community I found there astounded me... just the best people one could every want to know... they were all so kind and appreciative... a little helicopter parent for my taste, but really great.

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