RuPaul and Snoop Dog in a cage fight. Bing made the pairing

Cookie is not a lover of Google. I don't hate it, I just don't love it. 

The irony of this is that I use Blogger, which is their product.  I used to love Blogger, but since they revamped the interface I still love blogger, though I hate their interface.

Anyway, back to Google - I don't like how Google places emphasis on the number of link backs to determine how reliable sites are.   If I want sites based on the 1961 Chevrolet Bel Air Interiors, I don't need, want, or even desire to get all loaded up on subpar sites that promise to sell me one. 

So I have been using Microsoft Bing - it tends to get the search right without the advertising garbage your face like Google. 

Microsoft has been "tweaking" Bing, which is no longer "Bing" but now MICROSOFT Bing with the windows logo.   But they have been adding in all manner of nonsense to their sidebar results.  One of the most annoying is telling how tall different notable people are. 

For example, let's pick someone who was popular, but isn't: Brittney Spears. Search for her and Bing returns its results AND insists on telling you that she is 5'4".

If no one cares about "Brit'ney" they sure as hell don't give a tinkers damn about how tall she is. 

But Bing takes this trivial pursuit one step beyond.  NOW they tell you who else is 5'4", as in "as tall as" for comparison sake. 

So now, we don't give a damn about Britney Spears, we sure as hell don't care who she is, but... It's who they pick that Cookie finds absurdly funny, to a point.

And who does bing tell us is a tall as Britney? Alecia Beth Moore, aka PINK. 

This is only useful if you imagine that they are in what I have come to call BING CAGE MATCH, an imaginary "what if" the game in which you get to pick the winner of an all-out locked cage match, brawl to the end battle.

And BING CAGE MATCH, Pink pins Britney. Pink has that bitchin' body. 

Joe Manganiello?   He's 6'4" of beautiful muscle and perfection.  And he is as tall as Pablo Schreiber.  In BING CAGE MATCH, Joe Manganiello pins Pablo Schreiber.  On looks alone, but Joe is simply the winner given his build and good looks. Yes, I know its subjective, but that's part of the fun.  But you see that this can be a momentary parlor game, right?

David Letterman v. Bill O'Reilly?  Letterman. See. The only thing is that it has to be a modern celebrity.  Evidently, Bing didn't feel the need to tell us how tall Marie Curie was, or Marie Antoinette - with her head attached of course.

Earlier in September, Jeopardy announced that it was bringing Ken onboard its production team.  Husband asked me if Jennings was going to replace Alex Trebek given Trebek's health situation.  So I looked it on Bing and Bing gives me results and in the sidebar feels the need to tell me that Ken Jennings is 5'10".  

That's well and fine; 5'10" is one of the average heights in the United States.  So I decided to Play Bing Cage Match with Ken Jennings...

...and it compared serial Jeopardy winner Ken to...

...serial killer Ted Bundy.

And in a Cage Match, we know who is going win, and it is not going to be done with "Alex, I'll take Personal Defense for $500."

I mean seriously Bing, what the hey.  Out of ALL the celebrities that are 5'10" your system chooses Ted Bundy? 

I spoke with a cousin who's spouse works for Microsoft about this match-up and her reaction was simply "Oh, my god."  She called Kyle, and Kyle's reaction was, and I quote "No, oh, no, no, no."  Within 5 minutes that pairing on the screen caption above was gone.  

Now Ken Jennings is incomparable in the height contest. 

So then I wondered what other unlikely BING CAGE MATCH matches were being made.

• At 5'2" each, Charles Mansion, v. Yoko Ono.
• At 5'8" is Kanye West v. Eminem.
• At 6'4" is RuPaul v. Snoop Dog.
• At 5'2" is Amy Winehouse v. Nelly Furtado - AND - 
• At 5'10" Rodney Dangerfield v. Sally Kellerman.

I am NOT telling Mindy about the Yoko/Manson match, but I have captured this in an image just to have a record of it.  I am not posting it because I do not want people I am a fan of his.   

But try it yourself.  Or try it with someone else's famous name and see what you get. What really gets me is that if weren't in this COVID mess, it would make for a great game to play with friends while having a drink on a fall night.