What is that chaperone really up to?

If you have hung around here long enough, you know that Cookie loves vintage ads.

This is the one that I find disturbing.  Not the product, or the "yutes".  I do hate punch.  Mostly because most juices burn my mouth and throat - an intolerance, not an out and out allergy, so the doctor says.

No, its that chaperone.   We know she not the mother of one of these "young people" - there is no wedding ring.  But she certainly has mannish hands of great strength.

What the Hell is she up to?   Yeah, she's making punch. But she looks a bit like her mind is telling you "Yes, my plan is working...WORKING!" Muh ha ha ha.

Now, any chaperone at a party with high school or college coeds may be charmed by youngsters and young love, as it was called.

But her face is telling us that a different, darker thing is going on.

"Hey Mom, that new housekeeper is great, but we've been getting calls from the Maryvale Asylum for the criminally insane, but they won't say why they are calling.  Have you checked Lizzie's resume and her recommendations?"

"Why yes, Ethel, but her recommendations seem to be from people who died, many years ago."

"How odd..."

How odd, indeed.

Maybe I have been watching too much TCM, but I just know that Lizzie is up to something. 

A real chaperone would be busy telling the couples to dance four fingers apart.  Or would be admonishing Henry Wilson not to "get that grape juice on Mrs. Applewhite's rug."  Or would be giving Ethel sage advice to Ethel, like "Save yourself for marriage.  You'll be glad you did."*

Instead, I just can't shake the feeling that after the party Lizzie will turn into Mrs. Danver's, and poor Ethel will be invited to the balcony and then the patio in one last step.

So whatever you do, Ethel and friends, don't drink the punch.


* No she won't.  Seven years into that marriage the milkman will bring her milk and a free bottle of whipping cream.  One afternoon of having consensual sex with a man who knows what's he doing and she's ripe for the Chapman Report before Murgatroyd realizes that she wants more than 30 seconds, the second Saturday of every month.