Wednesday, November 30, 2016

1969: Pimpletons Opens its Triangle Square Store

There is always an ounce of truth in advertising, Grant Tingley used to say.

Take this Pimpleton's ad.

"If You've Never Been to Pimpletons, Then You've Never Been to the NEW Pimpletons!"

Can't argue with that logic, can you?

Mr. Tingley said that Mrs. Gertrude Pimpleton was so taken by the Kennedy Center that she wanted the new store to mimic its modern lines and grand promenade.  Mr. Pimpleman sure got his money's worth.  They had also planned an apartment complex near the mall inspired by the Watergate to be name Akromore Gate, but the plan fell through when the owner of the 3-D Drive in refused to sellout.

Father used to love shopping with Mother at the Triangle Square Mall store.  While she would head to the Queens Court, Pop would saunter to the Taxidermy Studio for some relaxing and lessons on form molding, and skinning.  Their Sweet Tooth Candy Counter was a kids dream, and who didn't love those chocolate Pimpltons - when you bit into them egg cream would ooze out.  Perhaps skinning a chinchilla wasn't your dad's idea of fun, then he could the Vitalis treatment in the King's Lair, or hang around with the rest of guys who were waiting by the lower level men's lounge, where buxom young beer maidens served Ballentine with panache and gusto.

During Christmas Time, the store shimmered, but it was during the Festival of Purim that it really was festive, with a costumed Haman plotting extra discounts for women named Esther.

Despite the glory that was Pimpletons, it came to an end when Blemishmen Brother's opened their store, which included an AMC Dealership.  Who wants to hang around a taxidermy studio when the all new car from AMC (the first WIDE small car) is going to be unveiled.

Its not a question.  But a statement of fact.


  1. Replies
    1. Where all the snazzy dressed you men pop into.

  2. Ah, the stories my Aunt Estelle used to tell about her three-martooni lunches at the Sumac Café! 'Til the end of her days she always had a complimentary rain bonnet from the Salon - she always said there was no perm like a Pimpernel Perm...

    1. They were absolutly rigid in the wind. The mens department never carried shorts after Labor Day.

  3. Replies
    1. Remember, when you pick Pimpleton's bargains just "pop"!

  4. You may laugh, but this formula was successful for a long time. I'll bet that even now, people in the Akromore area are wishing they could have Pimpleton's back--the old Pimpleton's, that is, before it was taken over and flooded with poor merchandise and inferior service.

    1. I would image. But there are those that pine for Clusterfolk's before it was sold and turned into Cluster's.