Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The one where I sit at the computer in the nude and...

...create a blog entry is this post right here, right now.

Why am I nude you might want to ask.  Perhap you don't want to know, either, since Cookie is resembling the Sunshine Chef of late.

I am sitting here in the nude, and by nude I mean tastefully, not salaciously because, well, its my house and I can.

There is something to be said about sitting around in the nude for us non-nudists, but I am not here to make a political statement.   So here is what is on my mind:

1) We have returned from the Charleston, West Virginia taping of the Antiques Roadshow.  Yes, we got tickets and we went.  Charleston is only six hours from Baltimore, so I figured it was just a hop in the car and go.  I was mistaken.

To get to Charleston, we had to take I-70 to I-68.  Driving on I-68 means you have to cross over Negro Mountain, I kid you not.  That name makes me cringe.  Anyway, I have a terrible fear of heights and I-68 is a terror filled ride for me.  But that was not the worst.  In Morgantown, we had to go south on I-79, and let me tell you, those three hours felt like ten.  Three hours of nothing more that mountains and trees. Swear to God.

We got there and had a good old time. We were staying at the same hotel that the appraisers were staying at and Cookie got to meet Kevin Zavian, who is, in person, devastatingly handsome when he isn't in a sharkskin suit and dripping with gold.  There I stood slack jawed while he cordially chatted with us for a minute.  Absolute heaven!

Two of our appraisals went well, and two of them went nowhere.  Ken Farmer (Folk Art) took one look at what we brought and said "These are folk art, but they are too well done for folk art."  Evidently people like their folk art crude.  The other appraiser that was a real dolt was Noel Barrett, the toy appraiser.  Barrett took one look at the toys we brought, which are original vintage 1960s, and 9 out 10, and sniffed like we had put a dead 'possum on his table.

On the other hand, the art we took both surprised us ("It's worth how much? Someone would pay that much for that thing? Well shut the front door and call me Maudine.") , and made us very happy.

If you have the chance to go - DO IT.  It was fun.  But keep away from Noel Barrett.  He's grumpy and not worth the two hours we spent in line to see him.

2) Work at the Beef House and Strip Club continues to grow more interesting every day, and I am learning new things.  We are all being trained on loss prevention because the home office feels that is the topic of the day.  I am appalled at what I am learning.  Cookie has a background in auditing, but the creative ways that people steal these days is appalling.  "People really do this?"  yes, they do.

We are also short staffed and and pretty desperate to find people to work.   I don't think I could do it full time.  "What do you mean I can't return this lap dance and silver tea service?  It hasn't even been a year!"  No, I could not deal with that without losing my mind.

3) We think we might just get an uninterrupted weekend to ourselves this week, so we are doubly excited.

Whats up with youse guys?


  1. Not much here ... sitting at the computer fully clothed ... well, shoeless.

    Even after reading your bed misadventures, Carlos and I bought a new bed and mattress--Mission style, very lovely--and have had No Cookie Troubles.
    Sealy has done right by us, I must say, though after night one on the new mattress Carlos claimed it was "too firm."
    So, I calmly hit him in the head with a cartoon frying pan and explained that he wasn't used to 'new' since we'd been sleeping on LumpyDumpyMattress™ for fourteen years!.
    Life goes on ...

    1. It takes a while to acclimate yourself to a new mattress. Have fun breaking it in.

  2. I love being nude.

    Most of the stuff I collect is not that valuable but I would like to know the true value of one or two things. I expect relatives one day will be shocked at the dollar totals as they liquidate my estate for cold hard cash.

    75% of shrinkage and store loss is internal. They come on board with gusto, they become disillusioned, They steal as a form of retaliation. Or they just plain out steal.

    1. Or they steal because one cannot live on minimum wage. Me? I walk in with a Diet Pepsi, I clock in, I do my job, I clock out and I leave. Integrity means a lot.