Sunday, May 6, 2012

Not just gray, but Deloris Gray

As you know, I Cookie, could be moving soon.  The husband is still in the running for a transfer, and we both are still holding out hope for Baltimore, Maryland, but we are also preparing ourselves for Louisville, Kentucky, which would be a great disappointment to both of us because we don't want to go there.

But, if the call comes, go we must, and thus, we must go.  And we hope to know something definitive by the end of May.

Several weeks ago, when word came down that it was looking more like Louisville, Kentucky, than Baltimore, Cookie curled into a fetal ball and cried. Louisville?  Me?  A child of Shaker Heights, banished to  Kentucky?

I did not just weep, I cried so much that I leached salt from my being and sent my electrolytes into a tizzy and came down with the first cold that I have had in two years.  No fun.  But its my own fault.

You see, Cookie is neither a fan of bourbon, local music scenes (its that live theater thing, again) or horse racing.  Mention the Kentucky Derby and I am ambivalent on a good day, and annoyed the next.  Kentucky has nothing for us; in fact - it has less than nothing.

I, Cookie, and my husband, were looking forward to living in a state that has same sex marriage rights.

Now we could be shoved off into the Land That Time Forgot. A place that elected Mitch "Chicken Lips" McConnell to the US Senate. A state that does not require it's eye doctors to be board certified.  My God!

The only good thing about Kentucky is that our housing dollars go further.  But it's still FUCKING Kentucky!

Anyhow, work on Chateau d'Cookie now begins anew, as time marches on, and even if we go to - Kentucky - our old Ohio home has to be ship shape and right as rain so we can sell it.

Today, its the front porch floor that gets a painting.  And we're painting the mother fucker gray.  Not just any grey, but "masonry porch floor mid-tone gray".  Isn't that a dreadful name?

So I have made an Executive Decision and have renamed the paint color "Deloris" in honor of Deloris Gray, the actress.

I mean, a color that is bleak should have something going for it?  And if we are heading for Kentucky, I see a lot of gray in my future.


  1. I think gray is a good color for a porch floor. By coincidence, I was just watching Dolores Gray. I got some cheap-o DVDs and she was on an old episode of Milton Berle, along with Ronald Reagan.

  2. On the upside, you'd be that much closer to Dollywood!

    1. AND we'll only be an hour from the Creation Museum! I love going there and just watching the peoples...


    1. Bless you child. I need to inhale the bus fumes of the east coast and bath in the Mid Atlantic negative pent up ions of incoming Hurricanes and Noreasters. For a vacation, getting away from it all is great for 48 hours, but once you chased Little Abner, then what?

    2. Fingers crossed. when on earth are you going to hear?

    3. Husband's Employer, Incorporated, is telling us that we should know by the end of this month. The tension is so thick around here that it feels like we're breathing pudding.

      I'll tell you that treading emotional water for six months like this is far worse than anything I've gone through. Worse then when my mother died - for sure. You can't plan for anything. Truely, this sucks.

  4. My father lives in Louisville now - and there are a few sassy restaurants downtown, some interesting hangouts on Bardstown Rd, and I heard that they're planning to open a gay hotel there soon (god knows why).

  5. I'm going to list a couple of positives that Louisville has to offer, as I was there for a long weekend last Sept/early October for DerbyCon. Thousands of Geeks + nothing to do = how did I end up in The Louisville Slugger Museum? (Skip it unless you have a thing for long pieces of wood and tripping over the canes of the visitors)

    Doc Crow's- best dirty martin and THE best oysters I've ever had in my life.

    They have a huge art fair that same weekend in Old Louisville which is chock-full of Victorian/Brownstone charm. It's also not far from a gorgeous cemetery, so there's that if you get depressed and the only thing that will cheer you up is being thankful that you're not dead.

    The Visitor Center has a life size statue of Colonel Sanders that will freak you right the f**k out.

    There's a river but don't cross it unless you love gambling and are not afraid of ending your life Deliverance style, because there is absolutely nothing on the other side except a hillbilly Casino.