How the French prepared us for ultimate evil

It was not French. It was The Fuckening.

 

Cookie usually loves the closing ceremonies for an Olympic event. But this year, the whole thing was a total downer. 

And it was French.  Very French indeed.   

When the French closed the 1992 Olympics in Albertville, it was a scene best watched while stoned out of one's gourd.  People on stilts, large shapes, and acrobats all set to atonal music. The only thing missing was Red Ballon guiding us mutely through the whole event.  

And Albertville's show was magnificent because it was FRENCH.

But last night? Pfft. Maybe it was designed to what the zeitgeist was when it looked like Marine LePen was going to take over the whole shebang.  

The worst part was watching it waiting, and hoping for something better.  And hoping that piano wouldn't drop from the sky.

And who told Ralph Lauren that he needed to clad Team USA in ski jackets.  They looked so out of fashion for Paris. They stuck out like a sore thumb.  No wonder Pariaisan's look at American tourists with disdain.

But the morning after me - Cookie - is that perhaps the entire French Dystopia thang that left everyone feeling depressed was actually a preparation for the ultimate evil to come: Tom Cruise.

That was the moment that the event went from being weird and depressing and turned into The Fuckening. 

Look, let's not mince words.  Not since the Reagan Era's Department of the Interior's head James Watt sang Wayne Newton's praises has a choice been so ridiculously bad. But Cruise adds a layer of "creep" to the whole affair. 

Why would the L.A. Committee think that using a cult member, and spousal abuser like Cruise in its effort to promote the 2028 Olympics?  I mean, it's like holding up aging and dated Red Hot Chili Peppers as a national example of entertainment culture.  Oh, wait, they did that too. 

Like I said, The Fuckening before our very eyes.

Frankly, I would have just assumed to watch the faceless French Mimes do an interpretive dance to Faust. 

Well, one thing is for sure, Cruise is aging, and it isn't aging well.  And the long shag cut looks as ridiculous as Pepper's Anthony Kadis wearing a "stoker" from International Male while he lipsyncs lyrics from Can't Stop, even though we wish they would. 

So now, we should all hope and pray that last not is not a portend for the 2028 Olympic Games.  Los Angeles, do better.  Don't Fuckening this up.