When I was a child, there were a series of jokes that were always prefaced with "What is grosser than gross," and then the disgusting punch line followed with a cringe-inducing line, usually "When your great grandmother kisses you goodbye and slips you the tongue."
Shiver, ick!
Cookie keeps a file on foods out of women's magazines that are filed under "Food - Inedible". This is one of those files, and well, this is a grosser-than-gross post:
Franks and Potato Salad Dinner, brought to you by Wrigley's Spearmint Gum isn't so much a 'recipe" - none of these three color ads are true recipes. They are more "assemble the usual suspects, an arrangement like this, serve them, and then stick a stick of our gum in your pie hole to cover up the taste.
In this one, line a casserole dish with one pound of skinless franks, and slice in half - because evidently, we want to spread this around and make it last. make sure that you cut one end of the severed frank into a point, so when you slide them into the round dish to seal the bottom. {Wink}. The fill the void - and folk we all have a void to fill - with potato salad, one of the famous cold salads.
But here, things get weirder than average because they want you to bake this mess for 20-25 minutes. Now anyone who bakes basic potato salad is a deviant, ok? But, they give you the option of filling the center with German Potato Salad, which is meant to be heated.
We leave weird and cross over into disgusting when they suggest that you ice this mess with the "bewitching taste of "Catsup*", Chili** (and where is that recipe?), or BBQ sauce.
Yeah, BBQ sauce really dresses up this hot mess.
Now the only people who could stomach this hot mess are heavy smokers. The type that smoke while they eat. People named Estil, Corliss, Bud, and "Sister Girl".
For dessert - after people are done vomiting this back up - then comes the gum. Because the whole family will be desperate to get that lasting bile taste out of their mouths.
Making these ads all the better are the cheap, but lurid color separation. That the page is stained with age, or coffee, or whatever, just makes you even more queasy.
You can thank me later when you download the image, post it on your blog or the Face of Book, to gross out your friends.
Now excuse me while I get a refreshing cool cloth for the back of my neck, after sharing this with you.
*We here at Ville Cookie are a step up when we buy "Catsup" because we only use ketchup when appropriate.
**Could they mean Canned Chili? Quelle Horrour!
What kind of potato salad is ever baked?! Yuk. And double-yuk at slathering "catsup" or anything over it... Jx
ReplyDeleteBut according to the ad, it is GLAMOUROUS!
DeleteIn a 7-11 in Taiwan I bought an egg salad sandwich, and the clerk asked me if I wanted it microwaved. I had to ask him to repeat what he said because I couldn't believe that someone had uttered those words.
ReplyDelete--Jim
Love your comment about the people who smoke are really the only ones that could eat this degusting dish. I would like to add those who drink as well. I am 65 and have never drank. Hell, I was even in the military. Mind you my father had a FULL bar in the house. Once during my high school days I decided to have a taste of liquor. I took a stainless stele jigger and poured some Johnny Walker. I took a sip and almost died. I swore from that day forward folks who drank could eat anything. That was some nasty shit.
ReplyDeleteYes, who would warm potato salad. We all know how stylists stage photo shoots for food stuffs and commercials. I would reason that this crap looked horrid at home when tried. Thank god my stepmother-Japanese-would only make the comfort foods for meals and was not all that adventurism. Now she could be her foot into a magnificent Japanese meal.
Hard to believe but chili sauce is a condiment. I think Heinz still makes it so you could do a faithful reproduction of this "recipe" for your next soiree!
ReplyDelete