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| We have all been there, right? |
There you are: you are living your life, and the phone rings CONSTANTLY with people in poor countries pestering you with robotically dialed calls. They tell you their name is something hard to believe because it seems unlikely that someone from that part of the world would name their child "Darrell" or "Betty", but we knew that isn't their real name. And they are constantly trying to sell you something that no one would ever buy over the phone, like Medicare coverage.
This morning, it was SCOTT, and it was a doozy of pitch:
"Hello, my name is SCOTT, and I am calling from the FEDERAL DEPARTMENT OF VISA AND MASTERCARD."
As if. A "Federal Department" of Visa and Mastercard? Seriously?
Cookie was tempted to just hang up - after all, I once worked with financial institutions rolling out new credit card programs.
I know how it works. From the accounting to the "online or batch" processing, to even designing the face of your card.
I even remember the cardboard wheel of "chargeback" calculators we used to use.
But Cookie is a picker. Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick.
So Cookie said: "my, you sound important?"
"Yes," says he, "and I am calling to tell you that you must provide me with your credit card number now or I will discontinue and have you arrested."
Oh, SCOTT, do you have any idea that this isn't the way anything is done?
"YES! You must do this now as there are security police and the FBI on their way to arrest you for noncompliance!"
Reader, do you know what Cookie did? Cookie said: SCOTT, Isn't this a bit like a ten-year-old screaming a threatening 'My father is going to sue you for being mean to me,' to another kid on the playground?
I mean, really, SCOTT. Security Forces AND the FBI? But there was SCOTT on the other end of the phone getting ready to have a seizure over this make-believe acting gig.
So, I hung up on SCOTT, even as he continued screaming at me into the phone.
Cookie is so done with these people. SCOTT needs some weed and mellow, because, dude, it wasn't working.
But if they are going to keep calling, I am going to be irascible.
I'm not sure that it's even safe to comment on this, or Scott will have the security police and the FBI after me, also. Seriously, I think the ways this works is that some people, especially the elderly and easily confused are dumbfounded bewildered by a sudden attack like this and will give the number before they can gather their wits. My mother tells me of similar pitches, but even though she is pretty canny I keep reminding her to hang up immediately and not say anything at all. The less you say the less they can record.
ReplyDelete--Jim
And I agree with that. Maybe its because I worked in the finanical industry. But yeah, I do worry about seniors. And I have noticed that when I use my OMC (Old Man Cookie) voice, they try and tell you all sorts of threatening things. The scariest is the "Hello, Grandpa" calls where the caller tries to come off as the callers grandson and tells of something horrific in Europe if you don't wire them money.
DeleteThe world's gone mad. We have a service over here called the Telephone Preference Service (TPS) that allows you to register your numbers (mobile and landline) in order to block such things. I have never had a junk caller since... Jx
ReplyDeleteWe have the Do Not Call list. But that only gets rid of the people who plays by the rules. Its these call centers overseas scammers that cause the problems for copperline phone lines.
DeleteLiving off the grid, as I do, for the most part anyway... I don't get those calls. If I did? I would try selling them something that I didn't own. Like a condo in Miami on Collins. Or a timeshare in Aspen. Then I would just morph it into nonsense like sharing recipes and cleaning tips, eventually to finding out if they thought we were far enough in our relationship that he should meet 'Mother.' My heart to you, dear Cookie. Also... do the have Boodles gin at The El Monacoa Motel Cocktail Lounge - Bar? Cuz... I could use me a gin fizz. Kizzes.
ReplyDeleteI used to send them to the Step Monster's telephone number. Anything I could do to brighten her day!
Deleteyou're in trouble!!!! (but say it sing-songy like)
ReplyDeleteLOVE
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