Horrible Christmas Movies You Can't Avoid on TCM

Gale Storm gives Don Defore a piece of her mind and a big fat Merry Christmas in It Happened on Fifth Avenue. 

Cookie is going to get all sorts of hate for this post, be the Clarion of Truth and the War Tuba of Warning need to be sounded. 

This is the season when TCM hauls out every holiday stinker in the vault. Fitzwilly. King of Kings. You know.  And that ever dreadful Shop Around the Corner.  Hint, Cookie is not a Margaret Sullivan fan, here, Mr. Matuschek.

We all know that every Christmas movie has to have either a religious miracle or a miracle to help us see what really matters, or romance.  And unfortunately, holiday movies are either wildly famous and beloved and well know, or they fall into a trash heap. There is nothing more out of place than a Christmas movie that comes out in May.

Two of the lesser-known are like accidents, once you watch the first few minutes, you cannot look away.  They are It Happened on Fifth Avenue and Holiday Affair.  Both are post-war 1940s movies and have WWII as providing something to the plot. It Happened on Fifth Avenue, uses Vets in search of affordable housing.  In Holiday Affair, it's a war widow with a young son.

They aren't horrible stories for film.  It Happened on Fifth Avenue is "Capraesque" in its story, but actors - B list - and all are wrong for their parts, save two.  The second, "Holiday Affair" has the wrong leads in the "male" roles, and it simply feels cold.

Let's start with It Happened on Fifth Avenue.   As I said, it's Capraesque in its story, but Capra was never part of the project.  Instead, the studio used Roy Del Ruth as the director.  (This was a disappointment for Gale Storm who wanted Frank Capra.  But had Capra been involved in the project, Gale Storm's role - make that everyone's roles - would have gone bigger profile stars.)

IHoFA's story is about a hobo, who spends his winters living in a mothballed mansion on Fifth Avenue every year while the owner winters in Virginia.  The hobo is played by Victor Moore, a one-time stage and silent film comedian turned supporting actor. Moore's high pitched voice didn't record well, meaning an end to most of starring credits. Instead of becoming the avuncular lead needed to provide guidance to the other characters, Moore simply becomes a nagging voice of advice never asked for, but ready to shoot whenever there is a lull in the conversation. Along the way comes Don Defore and his band of homeless vets who camp out with Moore in the mansion.  Defore is too old to play the juvenile love interest to a very young Gail Storm.  And Storm, whose character is the daughter of the man who owns the house, has a limited range. Her acting talents at that point in her career rivaled Shirley Temple's limited range, and they aren't right for the part either.  In fact, the only two actors that are up to their parts are Charles Ruggles and Ann Harding who played a divorced couple.  Ruggles character actually owns the house he pretends to be squatting in.  Harding is an undervalued asset that Hollywood never used properly. In the end, they all scattered to the winds, and all ends well.  Wrongs are righted, and the future looks loving for all involved.  And Ruggles tells his wife that next year, instead of coming into the house through a hole in the fence, that "Next year he's (Moore) coming in the front door," as Moore walks away on a treadmill with a grainy rear projection of Fifth Avenue is played in the background.

Our other ho-hum holiday movie is Holiday Affair starring Janet Leigh, Robert Mitchum, and Wendell Corey.  Also appearing as the spunky son of the WWII widowed Leigh is Gordon Gerbert.  Only Leigh is in the correct part in the right movie.  Mitchum is flat as the Vernors Ginger Ale your moth made you sip when you were ill as a child. There is zero chemistry between Leigh and Mitchum.   Also horribly miscast is Wendell Corey as Janet Leigh's boyfriend. Corey puts as much effort into the role as the Vase on Harriett Craig's mantle put into being a valuable antique.   

Gordon Gerbert as Leigh's spunky son is spunky enough, but I understand that he grew up and became a well-known architect.  Good for him.  Life after movies isn't often kind to children in the film.  Gerbert seems to have landed well. 

Anyhow, the movie is a simple plot - Janet Leigh is trying to make the best life she can for her son while working.  She's engaged to a solid man, but it lacks passion.  In comes Mitchum (Steve) as the rogue she needs, not the stuffed shirt that Corey plays. But Mitchum and Leigh have as much spark as wet cardboard.  And you find yourself kind of rooting for Wendell Corey.  But Hollywood being Hollywood - Leigh decides to throw all caution to the wind and go with the guy who longs to build boats, not the one in the gray flannel suit. 

So if these two stinkers are so bad, why watch them?  Simple: They are far better than any of the Hallmark Christmas movies and better than most of the modern-day over the top holiday specials. And it's fun to watch and think of which actors would have been better in the roles.