Korporate Kitchen Kreations: The good, the bad, and the ugly

First, the GOOD

This is actually a great cake, and when you serve it to people of a select age you'll hear them say "I love chiffon cake!"  But do it quickly.  That generation is dying off.

Now the BAD

Ever put something in your mouth and say to yourself, "WHAT THE HELL?"

Let me ask you this, when is a Welsh Rarebit not Welsh or a Rarebit?   This.

What looks like melted Velveeta, and isn't?  This.

It's Mustard Sauce.  You use it to make a "Saucewich".   They had to make up a word to describe it.  Think about that.

And I want to know is, why is dad making his own Sunday supper?  Bad divorce and dad is cooking with a hot plate while pretending that he's just a bachelor.  A bachelor that was married to a woman who was never happy with anything it did for her.  Just wait until the weekly visitation next week.

And since it's Valentines Day, the UGLY

"Hearty meals love raisins."

Do they?  Do they really? 

Does good food really like raisins?  Does the burger say to the baked beans "Hey, honey?  Let's invite the raisins to drop in."

I mean why would you do this.  Well, I'll tell you why.  You are trapped in a hot building in the heart of the Raisin Capital of the world, Fresno, and 6 o'clock on Friday and the people in the art department need an answer, two hours ago.

"What's it going to be, Hank?"  Your boss demands. What's the new campaign to drive home that raisins just aren't for five-year-olds?

And you say "fuck it," to yourself.  You go all Dorothy Parker on him and think about her famous quotable quote: "It wasn't just terrible.  It was fancy terrible.  It was terrible with raisins on it terrible."  Time to brush up that resume and step up in life, say Azusa, or Oxnard.

Have a happy Valentine's Day, for the love of God, don't serve the ones you love these last two, or you could be like good old dad, bach'ing in some seedy apartment wondering what you went wrong.