Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Love, all sixteen flavors, and that douche bag


Cookie has run this image before, but it came up on a friend's "What the Fuck Wednesday" feed and it got me thinking about the late 1960s, and the fucked up commercial culture of that era.  For what its worth, Cookie thinks the guy is fugly and Amy needs a bra.  But they both look higher than the Graf Zeppelin.

I mean a douche that smells and tastes like apricots?  The only people I know who like apricots are all over eighty and live in trailer parks in Florida.

Anyhow, reading down the ad, it says "One of sixteen delicious flavors-of-love from LOVE," What are those sixteen flavors?


Well, here's my guess:



1) Strawberry.  Its a given - everything in the late 1960s was Strawberry.  From Bonnie Bell Lip Smack to Boons Farm.  Strawberry is an automatic given.



2) It's citrus, its clean, sure, why not?




3) So far, so good.  I am not a fan of currants because I think that they taste gamey, but then again, someone thought that apricots would make a fine scent for a woman's secret lady place.




4) It's plausible. Not likely, but if the ugly dude like apricots, then prunes are a logical step, right.


5) I figured that since dude likes apricots, and then assumed that prunes would be next, what raisins?


6) Rhubarb - tangy, in the spring.  After spring it gets pithy.




7) Avocados? Imagine, Judy Tenuta, saying: "It could happen."  And it could.



8) It's natural, and garlic has curative powers in folk medicine.  And it would keep the vampires away during that magical yet unspeakable time each month in a ladies life...Again, as with Judy Tenuta, it could happen.



9) It's exotic, has anti-inflammation powers.  Popular with the Brits. What's not to LOVE.



10) C'mon, everyone loves a little heat, right?  I am not that person.  I eschew hot food because food should not hurt you.  But we're not talking about food, we're talking about douches.


11) Again, it's exotic!  What other food do you bury in the ground so it can rot in peace and then dig it up so you can enjoy it?



12) Not that I would ever eat it, but dude looks stoned enough that he'd go for it.   To me, it smells like cat food.



13) I know.  I shifted gears on ya.  C'mon, Winnie the Pooh Face looks like he'd like to eat out the honeypot.  Pot?  Did someone say POT?  Dude!



14) Dude!  It's served at the restaurant in Dad's Country Club.  Yes, it is an establishment dish but with butter anything is good!



15) Yeah, I know.  Could be worse.  Could be Marmite. Pass the Ritz. AND


16) Pumpkin Spice.  Yes.  THIS.  Someone had to get the idea somewhere.

What flavors should I have included?


5 comments:

  1. raspberry, blueberry, licorice, gin, rum, cheesecake, crabcake, chocolate, merlot wine, butterscotch, lemonade, chicken parmigiana, creme de menthe, apple.

    he is ugly, she doesn't need a bra, and yes, they ARE stoned outta their minds!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. "Amy doesn't need to douche because she knows I like bananas."

    Any hetro man would be holding her boob, not her waist. Just saying...

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