A Summons to Ohio

Cookie is back in Ohio for a couple days and not for a happy occasion.  There are two goodbye's that need to be said.  One in which I bid farewell to one of the best people to ever marry into my father's family, and one in is implied because Glioblastoma has been diagnosed.

The cousin, who I will call "Mel" was indeed a wonderful woman.  She was the type of people who was accomplished in her own right, but also had the poise and the intelligence to connect with everyone she met.  She was an accomplished business woman, mother and wife. 

When a cousin gets married, unless you are exceedingly close to them, you think "I hope they are happy," or "Why would they marry that person?"  But when Cousin married Mel, there was a feeling that he had not only chosen well, but that we were going to be a better family for it. Cousin had really married "up".

And we were all made better by her being in the family.

Mel and I would work on my father's family genealogy and together hit our heads against the wall, as we found one lead to nothing after nothing.  Our Aunt who tried to tried to create a "dream" heritage, replete with taking Yiddish names and Americanizing them, leaving us precious little, and the precious little she left was cloaked in mysteries and cryptic messages.

Together, Mel and I could work them and figure out which ones had merit and which ones did not.  We could also share a sarcastic moment, in which we would roll our eyes in unison, much to Cousin's amusement.

I will miss her. 

Then there is our friend Mike who was diagnosed with Glioblastoma.  Last year in October, I attended the funeral of my late co worker Becky who died of this aggressive form of brain cancer.  And having it as a diagnosis is a death sentence.

So this will most likely be the last time that we see our friend, former bowling partner and good friend.  This is not defeatism, but it is taking a sobering stance.  Glioblastoma is horrible way to go.  With Becky, her final days were spent in excruciating pain waiting for her body to yield.  I am not going to go through the details.  But this is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

We knew Mike through the "friends" that sent me a nasty text message a couple years ago telling me that that wanted nothing more to do with me.  For years, we watched "Person" pull this stunt on people, and we never did anything to tell him we saw what he was doing.   So when it happened to Mike first, then me, Mike and I had even more in common. 

So my hope is that "Person" comes to comes to his senses and finds the compassion and strength that he owes Mike.  Given their joint history (they all attended Findlay University together and were in the same frat) I know that "Person's" husband will be Mike's side, but "Person" needs to man up and be there as well.

I don't want to believe that this is happening to Mike, and we'll stay in contact as best as we can from afar. 

This truly the worst part of the move to Maryland - leaving your friends behind. 

Goodbye's are never easy.

So it is back to Maryland tomorrow.