There are somethings that you do, my mother taught me. A lady never smokes on the street. Never clear a garbage disposal with your hand. Never jab a knife into an electrical outlet.
I am here to add, never wear a red shirt into a Target Store.
Trust me on this, people. All sorts of hapless people will see you, tell you to come to them and demand that you show them where the 3M Command strips are located. Or where the Swiffer's have been relocated to when the store was rearranged. Worse still "You must be new here..."
Today a woman of a body type that I will call luscious told me to show her which freezer case had the plastic tubs of rainbow sherbet. And she wasn't nice about it. And her cart was filled with crap. And her her Louis Vuitton was a fake.
"Do you really think that's such a good idea?"
She gave me a dirty look. She was about to speak to my supervisor.
"C'mon. You deserve better. Häagen-Dazs, instead?"
She got all kittenish and said "You crazy. It's for kids at a party. They can eat that shit."
I offered to find someone who worked at the store. "This shirt? Bad fashion and shopping planning."
We both had a moment, giggled and went on.
But yeah, don't wear a red shirt to Target.
I used to have a job that required me to wear a tie, and during the winter, I would wear a sweater. This job was not far from a mall with a Macy's. Every time I went into Macy's, wearing a tie and a sweater, I was approached by all these people convinced that I worked at Macy's and was purposely ignoring them. One women screamed at me that I was the worst customer service person she ever met! I yelled back at her: "just because I am wearing a tie, a sweater, and Gay; doesn't mean I work at Macy's!"
ReplyDeleteWhen I was working at the BeefHouse/Strip Club chain of stores, I would walk in, my name badge in my shirt pocket and at least one, usually two people would ask the stupidest questions like "Is there an Amazon store nearby?" I would be like "An Amazon Store? Seriously?"
DeleteI've never been in a target. and I don't intend to ever go into one either.
ReplyDeleteTarget used to have amazing merchandise. But now all their furniture looks like "West Elm Dorm Room"
DeleteWhat's a Target? Jx
ReplyDeletePS Thankfully I don't possess a red shirt, so should be safe if ever I were to visit the Midwest.
Target is whats left of the discount department store industry in the US. (WalMart is its own foul smelling breed) There used to be KMart, Woolco, Gold Circle, Value City, Bargain City, Korvette's, Ames, Zayre, Welles, Tops, MiracleMart, etc. Now Kmart is dying this horribly long, slow death, so that leaves Target, which was always a better step up than KMart. But even now, Target's lost its style.
DeleteThis happens to me every time I go to Homo Depot. Usually I'm wearing ripped shorts and an old tee shirt. I always want to say, "Am I wearing an orange apron and do I look like I WANT to help you?". Also it's never the DILF from Aisle 4 doing the asking.
ReplyDeleteYup. I hear you. "Excuse me, but, oh...you don't work here, do you."
DeleteI empathize. Not only did I wear the red Polo shirt, but I wore khakis too. It took me a little while to figure it out. Kudos on the upsale.
ReplyDeleteI am good at the up sale because I take in everyone's everything.
DeleteAlso it's never the DILF from Aisle 4 doing the asking.
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