Monday, October 24, 2016

Should I stay or should I go?

Word from the Ohio's came down on Saturday morning that my beloved former co-worker, Becky, has died.

She was only 58.

When I started working at the Statewide Trade Association in 1993, Becky was there.  We had a lot of laughs.  She was an excellent person, a hard worker and she had the luck of Job.  But she kept plugging away.   She was good at what she did and she was good to work with.

This past summer they discovered that she had a gliboblastoma, a brain cancer as ugly and cruel as it sounds.  About eight weeks ago she had an operation to remove the tumor, and they were able to get most, but not all.  Shortly after surgery, she had a stroke, and for the past seven weeks, bit by bit the cancer took its toll.

Former coworkers have kept me in the loop.  I knew that the end was near for her on Thursday of last week.

Now that the memorial service has been nailed down, Cookie is really torn about whether to just send condolences, or to go and grieve.

She was a good person.  She deserves this act of respect from me.  She earned it.  But frankly, Cookie is exhausted - mentally and physically from the past couple months, and another short range trip with hours of travel time isn't first on my hit parade.

Its an eight hour drive to get to the correct Ohio, then its another hour and a half from there to memorial service.

At the same time, I would feel very odd not being there.

I can get into the hotel that I love.  But there is an Ohio State game at home that weekend, and that means that all manner of idiots will be about.

But mostly, I am sick of going to funerals and memorial services for people who have cut down in life too young, damn it.

I have to ponder this, damn it.


  1. send condolences; you are still grieving your own family members.

  2. I'm with AM; people will understand.
    Sometimes it's just too much.

  3. Wow, you're in a tough spot. I'm concerned that you're tired and worn down. You know how that kind of stress can chip away at your mental and physical health. Condolences are more than a lot of people would send these days, but I know you aim higher. I think you ought to send condolences, perhaps make a contribution to a charity in her name if one has been specified or pick one yourself, and be content that you've done your duty. It's not like she'll know, but you'll know you've honored her memory.

    1. I need a vacation. Or a bottle of valium, which is the same thing.

  4. So sorry for your loss(es) Cookie. I wish I could offer better words or help.

    1. Thank you, sweetie. You've had quite a year as well.