Thursday, July 14, 2016

I am still here, just on summer break...

You may have asked, what is Cookie up to?

Well, the sad, simple truth is not much.  Mother Nature has settled her great big fat ass right on top of Baltimore and it is HOT AS FUCK.

As my mother's mother would say, fanning herself in the stiflingly hot house that she and my grandfather lived in, "The weather today is 'close.'"  Never mind that she had an air conditioner that would have dropped the whole first floor to meat locker cold, she's sit in her chair with a fan from Denzer's Funeral Home and just rock in her chair.  Or, she'd be cooking over the stove, with that same fan in her hand, suffering in silence.

But in the Mid-Atlantic, it is not a dry heat.


This morning at 9AM it was 80 degrees and 87% humidity.  Yesterday it was so miserable that air was 90% humidity, and when that happens, and its hot, something's gotta give.  So ever hour or so the skies would just release heavy rain that came down in huge droplets for a minute or two and stop, and then a half hour later, it would repeat. And again, and again.  Finally at about two it just rained for about a half hour as the worst of it got it out of its system.

Still, its gross.

So we hide indoors.  With the AC.  And the dogs.

Just as you know that you are fat when the crotch on your caftan is tight, you know that the dogs want no part of this weather.  The dogs charge out the door gallop halfway through the back yard, pee and then gallop right back in, and they lay on the floor as if they have been at play all afternoon.

In other news, I am planning a solo trip to the Ohio's in August.  If you don't know why I call it the Ohio's plural, it's because while it is a legal state, Ohio is no longer homogeneous.  Cleveland, Youngstown, Toledo and Columbus are wonderfully liberal - which makes me scratch my head as to why the RNC chose it instead of Cincinnati for their dreadful convention - which the rest of Ohio is red as a raw steak.

Simply put, I need a break, a chopped liver infusion and SHHS is planning a 35th reunion, so I will actually be doing Hard Time in Shaker Heights for  a couple days.

After that, I will be schlepping down to Columbus to be surrounded by friends.

The husband, meanwhile, will be "bach'ing" it here, missing me.

And when I get back, I will be even more appreciative of all the blessings in my life.


  1. Any weather that makes Gary Cooper take his shirt off is good weather, surely? Jx

  2. it sux today in philly too. I had an asthma attack going from my office building to my car; I can't fucking BREATHE!

    cincinnati was already taken by the NAACP, so no GOP there.

    1. The GOP probably thought they would get cooties from them.

  3. Yay. Maybe I'll get to see you this trip.

    1. I should have some time on Saturday day. I also need a Corky's fix.

  4. tell me which Saturday (please don't be the 13th).