Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I have become a house urologist

Yesterday I passed the day using my mother's floor scrubber, polisher, on the gross Congoleum floor in our kitchen.  How gross is gross?  The floor was ground in dirt gray and your feet stuck to it when you walked on it.  Swiffer Wet Jet pad lasted two passes before they turned black, yet they didn't make a dent in the dirt.

So armed with a fresh bottle of Pine Sol (used straight from the bottle) a mop and lots of clean water (rinse) I attacked the floor, section by section until the color changed back to factory white and the surface shone in the mid morning sun.  Two hours of my life were spent on that nasty floor that is smaller than 10x12.  The husband was pleased as punch.  A good house husband am I, I thought as I admired the shine in the evening sunlight.

Then today, while taking a load of laundry to the basement I noticed that the dehumidifier empty bin light was blinking.

"How queer," I thought. "It's never done that before."

The dehumidifier was left by the previous owner's family, and then they ran a short hose from the port on the side to the sump pump pit, allowing it to drain without the bin being used.  It had worked fine up to now.

So I started my whites, and then emptied the bin of dehumidifier water, got a wrench and went to work on the hose.

I thought, "what would Thombeau do with a hose to drain it?"  So I twisted and twist the hose to get it off.  Sometimes these things come off easier than others, and this turned out to be a tough one to get off.

When I finally got the hose off, there was this blobbly gray slimy stuff coming out of the end.

Yuck, I thought to myself.

So I carefully walked the hose to the sink, being careful not to get the goo on me or the floor, and under the faucet it went.  I tried to pull the goo out, but it wasn't a solid, and it was squishy.  Then I ran water through the hose to flush out more goo.

In all seriousness, I thought I was going to puke when I cleaned this stuff out of the sink.

After the hose was flushed, I reattached it and put the tank back it.  We'll see what it does later this afternoon before I declare a success.

My husband called in and asked what I was doing and when I told him, in between gagging noises (he hates, HATES, drain goo and other plumbing pipe clean out stuff, save one) he anointed me the house urologist.

Lucky me. Doctor Cookie is in.


  1. It's an umbilical cord attached to Kooky Kray Kray Orchid Tub, which is also tied to tubs located in nearby Bedlam. You should pull up all the plumbing immediately while hubs is at work.

    I hope you cut that cord immediately, and buried it in the yard.

  2. House ownership is not for the weak of heart.

    1. Got that right. In someways I miss the old place, but the new place has almost made me forget about the old...

  3. As long as you're enjoying yourself....

  4. throw the hose out immediately. When moving into a 'fresh' establishment it is necessary to disenfranchise any cultures, life forms, rodentia that may be present. Buy a new friggin hose. You and your mate deserve a clean fresh start. Also replace furnace filters, faucet aerators, what have you. Kabuki would provide a list, but you are far wiser than I. Bon chance. ps do not ask me about under the kitchen sink. (rat turds) kabuki could have died. but instead the rat died suddenly, outdoors even.

  5. New reader...started with your posts on Love it or List reading them to my partner...thanks for the smile....sorry about the clog

  6. You’re tough! I hope you had, at the very least, a mask when you pulled the hose out. Plumbing is really a dirty job. Speaking of that, when was the last time you’ve had the drains cleaned? It’s actually not too demanding. Once every 2-3 years, well that’s the professional kind of cleaning.

    -->Darryl Iorio