Wednesday, November 9, 2011

At 11:45PM, it'll have been a whole year

Cookie's Mom
10/1/1924 - 11/9/2010

A year ago, Mom died. I miss her more than words can say.

It seems like forever ago.  It seems like yesterday.  

Being with Mom when she died was one of the greatest gifts ever given to me while on this earth.  Between us there was nothing left unspoken. No anger.  No regrets.  Just a big hole in my heart.  Nothing left to the imagination.  She brought me forth into the world, and held her hand as she left it.

As she said about a month before she died, when we knew the end was coming, "We sure did have a lot of fun, didn't we."   And how we did, indeed.

But this is the one year mark, and it marks the end of mourning.  Her headstone is in place, the estate is closed. The year has come to a close.

I could not have gotten through this past year without all of you.  Whether I read you blogs and laughed, or you commented on mine, thank you for being there when I needed it.

Life has to go on, and now so do I.


  1. I just thought how surprising it was to read this reminder that it has already been a year.
    How fortunate you both were to have one another, and this is a fitting celebration of her life on this day.
    love tim

  2. Anniversaries are never easy Cookie.
    thinking of you,and here's a (hug)from Me....

  3. I hope you're feeling better. Unfortunately there's nothing that can be said or done to make it any easier.

  4. it's amazing what we're able to get used to.

  5. It'll be 3 years for my Mom next February. I still keep her pics on my cell phone. I guess it'll be over when I can delete them.

  6. Thanks to all.

    Theaterdog - it does seem like its gone by fast.

    Princess - I wrapped myself up in your hug.

    Tamaym - Yeah, I know. It's the intangible things I miss the most. Right after she died I erased everything that I had with her voice on it because I knew that I would fixate on it (its what I do this time of year) and then that leads to depression.

    Norma - Yeah, it is amazing. Nietzsche says that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And it does.

    Carl - While I erased her voice recordings, I keep my favorite picture of my mother on my phone. When I upgraded, that was the one thing that I was nervous about - moving that picture.

  7. Saying a sweet goodbye to your mom was a gift. My mom called my name out when she passed; but I was at home, in my kitchen, and had no idea she was even in the hospital, at the time of her passing. That's how strong our bonds are with our moms. And healing is slow, and not sure if we are the same after they're gone, but I do know that our moms would want us to keep growing, and be with good friends, as you've done this year.

  8. One of the sad aspects of losing a parent is the realisation, with time, that you recover. But they would want it that way.

  9. Thinking of you sweetheart. A year already? You are in my thoughts most days, but especially the past two. Much love.

  10. My mom has been gone almost 7 years now and I think about her all the time. Like you, it seems like much longer and the passage of time just astounds me ... how in a blink 20 years can come and go.

  11. I wish I could put up photos of my mother without bursting into tears every time I see them.

    Hugs to you, Cookie.

  12. It's tough to lose Mom - however far in the past that was xxxxxx