Monday, March 7, 2011

A long and sordid story

Well, I am back but still recovering from my caprice, and I have to honor my promise on the Hair Hall of Fame by explaining this picture.  This image, and its accompanying obituary, appeared in the home town newspaper next to my dear sainted mother's obituary last year.  The woman in the image was the only person that I have ever witnessed my mother throw from our house.

What I can tell you is, that back when one of my uncle's passed away, the doorbell rang and this woman was on the other side.  She told me her name, and I let me mother know who had rang the bell.  My mother claimed that she didn't know her, but came to the door anyway.

One look told me this wasn't going to end well for someone.

The woman started to say that she had come over to give her sympathies on the passing of my uncle, but my mother cut her off and told her to not to just leave, but to "get out, now."  The woman called my mother by her first name, and asked if she could put the past behind her, "it was so long ago," she started to say,  but my mother would have none of it.  She grabbed this woman by the back of her neck and pushed through the door saying "not after what you have done." The woman tried to respond, but mother followed her out and ordered her from the property.

At this point the woman was standing on the in front of my grandfather's house (where we were living) and she was trying to over shout my mother to the effect that the sidewalks were public and she had just as much right to be there as the next person.  Mother threatened to get the hose and turn on the water.  It was December and that would have smarted.

The woman gave up and left. 

My mother went inside. 

I was really confused. 

In the kitchen Mom was looking in her compact, she reached for her Revlon lipstick, and said we were going out to dinner as if nothing had happened.  I asked who that woman was and my mother said she didn't about which woman I was speaking of, but if I didn't hurry we would end up at some place I didn't care for.  All night long I badgered her, but Mom would not speak about it again.  The elephant had been in the living room, however she had also been dispatch, toot suite, I suppose.

I never heard from or saw this woman again until her obituary.  Years later I was able to put two and two together and discovered the source of the rift.  Suffice it say that my mother's outrage was justified, but it could have been handled better.

Had I known then what I later found out on my own, I should have had the hose ready for my mother to use on her.

In reality, this woman went on to have a family that I am sure she loved.  I'm sure she left a positive mark on the world.  But she left the wrong type of mark on people my mother loved, and as one who was not usually open with her feelings, Mom's outburst was as protective as I ever saw her get with her own family. 

I rather liked it.

Draw your own scenario, but keep it to yourself.  Have respect for the dead - they meant something to others who mourn their loss and their passing.

The family member who showed it to me started to tell me who this woman was - I stopped them from saying more.  Some things should remained buried.  Still, and I pointed this out to the family member I was speaking with, that had my mother known that she and this woman were to appear in the obits on the same day - I think Mom would have hung around a couple days longer to avoid being seen together.

My mother, how I miss her...


  1. i have to tell you, i was not pleased with the payoff darling.

  2. I don't want to insult your family but I do wonder if she was someone your father had an affair. If your mother knew, it would explain her reaction.

  3. Puggerpete. Its no insult, but I have to tell you that my mother never got as livid with any of the women that my father slept with; and he had better taste! And remember, blood is thicker than a marriage certificate...

  4. I'm glad you weren't insulted. All families are different. If my mother ever thought that dad had been unfaithful he would still be paying alimony even though he's deceased.

  5. Here's the odd thing - when Mom was dying and unresponsive one of the things I said was that she would get to see everyone that she misszed on the other side - her parents, her brother and her sister. But i slipped my father in too. They say the opposite of love isn't hate, its apathy. I think that beyiond the violence that marred their marriage that they both had strong feelings for one and other. Still, after he died she said "You know, your father really disappointed me...I thought there would have been more illegitmate children..."