We the hole is being filled in. Thank Jesus Christ almighty.
And we passed our inspection. Praise Allah
The plumber hands me the permit and says "You ought to post this in a window."
A little late, slim, ain't it?
Tomorrow we go and buy gypsum for the gash, to try and make the clay they are turning up more porous.
We did have a "neighbor" come by walking her dog.
Woman: "What's going on here?"
Me: "Draining our savings, it'll flow freely to the water treatment plant."
Woman: "Did you let your neighbors know?"
Me: "Oh, yes."
Woman: "I had no idea."
Me: "Where do you live?"
Woman: "Three blocks that way. Did you tell the city?"
Me: "The plumber pulled the permit with the city and we passed inspection this morning."
Woman: "If you did this without a permit, I'll need to call and report you."
Me: "Call away, Gladys."
Woman: "My name is Tonya."
Me: "Kravitz did you say?"
Woman: "No, TONYA!"
Me: "Stop by anytime Gladys."
Our neighbor Randi heard this and came over.
"Tonya has lived over there her whole life. She'll call the city and report you, but she won't remember the address or she thinks you are probably the people who lived here in the 50s."
Shaking her head, Randi said "She's harmless, but a pain in the ass sometimes. Lotta peyote, that one."
Wouldn't doubt it. Damn hippies.
But what do I care? I am poorer, and our house's poop pipe is squeaky clean.
Damn Hippies, indeed.
Have you noticed by now that there is something about you that seems to attract them? Incidentally, is this Mrs. Kravitz Alice or Sandra? Anyway, congratulations on getting that nightmare over with.
ReplyDelete--Jim
Alice Pierce and Sandra Gould both held the coveted role of the snoopy neighbor from Hell, Gladys Kravitz. A neighbor down the street has nicknamed her dog that because it hangs out on the back of the sofa, and starts incessantly barking whenever anything happens on the street.
Delete"Gladys" I love how you called her out so politely, sweetpea! xoxo
ReplyDeleteAs David Sedaris said, "if you can't be cute, you might as well be cunning."
DeleteWith all the stress you've been through, maybe you should ask Gladys who her mescalin dealer is - take the pain away! Jx
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I have considered a road trip to Michigan.
DeleteCONGRATULATIONS you are back in business. It is amazing how everyday conveniences that we take for granted are truly missed when we don't have them.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't every neighborhood have one or two Gladys'? Makes life fun!!
Have a great Sunday and week.
Well, I will tell you. I would rather have a Gladys Kravitz compared to that toxic couple who used to live near us in Maryland.
DeleteI agree with Jon, this Old Hippie thinks you should get a Hood Hookup from Gladys for some Peyote and it will melt away all stress and anxiety. I'm having some major Plumbing Issues, so, I'm like the shitter Police right now with the Family until we can find someone who works with Septic Systems in the Heart of the City. I love my Mini Farm that was built here Decades before the City grew up around it... and before any Sewer Systems thus existed in this area... now it's Urban and we're the last bastion of what was once Rural Phoenix in the Far West Valley. I'm sure the City HATES our little enclave and would rather some big pocket Investor force us all to Sell and make ugly Mega Apartment high density Housing or something equally hideous and 'Modern'.
ReplyDeleteA bad septic system is beyond a nightmare. Dante named the eleventh circle of Hell the "Devil's Septic System".
Delete