When I was a child, there were a series of jokes that were always prefaced with "What is grosser than gross," and then the disgusting punch line followed with a cringe-inducing line, usually "When your great grandmother kisses you goodbye and slips you the tongue."
Shiver, ick!
Cookie keeps a file on foods out of women's magazines that are filed under "Food - Inedible". This is one of those files, and well, this is a grosser-than-gross post:
Franks and Potato Salad Dinner, brought to you by Wrigley's Spearmint Gum isn't so much a 'recipe" - none of these three color ads are true recipes. They are more "assemble the usual suspects, an arrangement like this, serve them, and then stick a stick of our gum in your pie hole to cover up the taste.
In this one, line a casserole dish with one pound of skinless franks, and slice in half - because evidently, we want to spread this around and make it last. make sure that you cut one end of the severed frank into a point, so when you slide them into the round dish to seal the bottom. {Wink}. The fill the void - and folk we all have a void to fill - with potato salad, one of the famous cold salads.
But here, things get weirder than average because they want you to bake this mess for 20-25 minutes. Now anyone who bakes basic potato salad is a deviant, ok? But, they give you the option of filling the center with German Potato Salad, which is meant to be heated.
We leave weird and cross over into disgusting when they suggest that you ice this mess with the "bewitching taste of "Catsup*", Chili** (and where is that recipe?), or BBQ sauce.
Yeah, BBQ sauce really dresses up this hot mess.
Now the only people who could stomach this hot mess are heavy smokers. The type that smoke while they eat. People named Estil, Corliss, Bud, and "Sister Girl".
For dessert - after people are done vomiting this back up - then comes the gum. Because the whole family will be desperate to get that lasting bile taste out of their mouths.
Making these ads all the better are the cheap, but lurid color separation. That the page is stained with age, or coffee, or whatever, just makes you even more queasy.
You can thank me later when you download the image, post it on your blog or the Face of Book, to gross out your friends.
Now excuse me while I get a refreshing cool cloth for the back of my neck, after sharing this with you.
*We here at Ville Cookie are a step up when we buy "Catsup" because we only use ketchup when appropriate.
**Could they mean Canned Chili? Quelle Horrour!
