Friday, July 31, 2015

A new house, an old house, and midget who is a prick

Our Crepe Myrtle is lovely, but will be removed when we build a driveway and garage.  by the way, this is just one half of our new back yard. 

So, what has Cookie been up to these last two weeks? 

Well, we moved. 

We have left Tudor Cottage cozy for Dutch Colonial Center Hall granduer.

First the new house, which is substantially larger than the old house.  Everything is in the new house, although about half remains boxed up.  We had the locks changed because at the closing the out going owners handed us about twenty sets of keys, and they couldn't be sure that these were all the keys.  Each set contained anywhere between two and three keys per door, excluding the storm doors. The only thing that we didn't get was a pore key (obscure Green Acres reference) and the pad lock to the shed.  I guess at Contentment Gardens, their new retirement community, a pad lock is called for.  

The dogs are still a bit freaked out and very edging.  The scare quite easily in the new house and the boxes have them a a bit confused.  I say in a month, once the fence is completed in the back yard, they should start coming around. 

The old house, Tudor Cottage, is still an albatross around our necks.  Neither of us wants to go there and work on it, but this is crunch weekend with yard work and the final painting.  The kitchen is primed, but we have to get it painted "Agreeable Gray", a Sherwin Williams color that everyone agrees is lovely.  

I will say this - Cookie loves houses and becomes very sentimental about them.  But Tudor Cottage is a place that I never bonded to, and for that matter miss.  Indeed I walk in and immediately my inner voice says "ugh."  It seemed like a prudent thing to buy, but in the end, it "just didn't work for us."

Today I am home - fuming.  We hired an electrician to deliver more power to our second floor.  I had used him before and he seemed nice, albeit a midget.  Yes, he's a midget.  Well my idea of a midget.  He's about five feet tall, maybe 4'11".  A cocky little bastard.  But he shows up on time and doesn't gouge you.   Mr. Midget Electricians: "No job too big, and every job small priced."

Well, he turned into a massive prick today when he dropped the ball on the project we needed done and was supposed to be finished today.   This was a job that I didn't want to start on a Friday, because you know it's going to drag into Saturday then Monday and....  He promised me that his guys could get this done in a day. 

At noon today, guy one comes in and tells me that he doesn't have the right ladders and equipment to do the heavy duty line to the second floor and the third floor.   So I call Mr. Midget and ask if I get anything off for the inconvenience.  

Mr. Midget says he doesn't understand.  

I explain to Mr. Midget that because he didn't get his guys here first thing this morning that the work won't be finished, and that delays us in getting our offices set up.  PLUS, I shelled out a days wage for the dogs to go to daycare because he told us the night before he would be here first thing on Friday morning. 

"I don't recall saying that," says the little prince.

I do and it is in your text to me, along with me asking if it might not be better to start this on a Monday, and he said no, his crew would "just need one day."

"Look," says Mr. Midget, "I can pull my guys out of there right this minute if you are going think you are getting something for nothing."

And this is when Mr. Midget became a huge prick. 

We need this done, I just told him "fine," but added that I was not happy.  And he hangs up the phone in my ear.  Evidently Tom Thumb is a prick.  

Monday this will be done, and I will have electric, but he will always be a small, small man.  

And like I told the husband we just need him to get the job done.  And his people do beautiful work. 

Still, there is a part of me that wants to channel Dorothy Parker and say "With this crown of thorns I wear, why should I worry about a little prick like you."

Now, I need a nap. 


  1. “Bond always mistrusted short men. They grew up from childhood with an inferiority complex. All their lives they would strive to be big - bigger than the others who had teased them as a child. Napoleon had been short, and Hitler. It was the short men that caused all the trouble in the world.”
    - Ian Fleming


    1. My mother used to call them "Banty Roosters" because they picked fights.

  2. Having just had some renovations completed and liaising with contractors I feel your pain, although, I didn't have to deal with a grumpy midget prick. Hope all goes well for monday...

    1. You know, every now and then you find a contractor you like, but usually you find the one who has room in their schedule for you.

  3. Yikes
    Maybe he's a leprechaun
    I don't know....I wouldn't take any chances
    Lock up your firstborn just in case

    1. And you should see the truck this pitted prick drives. A big ass Ford 350. There is no reason this prick needs that much truck but to feel big about himself.

  4. it's too bad, i've always had a thing for midgets...and dwarves.
    corgis are dwarves.

    1. Oh, if this guy were a Dwarf, that would be totally cool. But he's just a cock punching midget.

  5. Congratulations on the move! I'm sure the dogs will settle in just as soon as they see you two settled and "at home".

    My favourite line: "...I will have electric, but he will always be a small, small man."

    1. I was kinda inspired by the Winston Churchill/Betsy Braddock exchange:

      Betsy Braddock: “'You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk."
      Sir Winston Churchill: "Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.”

  6. Our building's maintenance man-of-all-work is about 6'6". Somehow I find that very reassuring.

    1. Sound like you have Dr. Longjohns for your super.

  7. Replies
    1. His man got it done after the real estate agent reamed him an asshole.