So last week there was no posting because I was off my game, as the week got off the a somewhat strange start.
The Husband, handsome as he is, had this thing, a lipoma, in his left facial cheek. Having had one in my arm when I was younger, I knew it was nothing. These things usually start of off as a hard ball of fatty tissue that forms, and the older you get, the body isolates it in a sack filled with fat. Over time, the fat continues to grow, and at some point, it becomes unsightly. I had mine removed. The doctor let me see it. It wasn't pretty, but hey, it was my creation, so to speak.
Well, his was more or less the same over the last thirty five years that I have known him, but after our trip to Salt Lake in February, it grew much larger.
So I pestered him into seeing the doctor, he did. He gave him the name of a dermatologist, called for an appointment the soonest one was in June. In the next five months, I swear the damned thing got bigger.
Finally, two weeks before the appointment, the dermatologist's office calls to cancel the appointment because the doctor himself needed hip replacement surgery. Referrals were given and a plastic surgeon got him right in.
Apparently the guy walked in, looked at Husband, said "Yeah, let's get that out this coming Monday. See my scheduler."
In the meantime, he had an appointment with the Endodontist for a follow up after a procedure. Endodontist walks in, looks at husband, looks at the chart and says "Did I do that you?" Husband explained, and then opened up for the examine, but Endodontist was less about doing the checkup on the gum surgery and started to poke around the Lipoma, which according to the Husband. Evidently Endodontist found the thing fascinating.
"I would love to see the pathology report on it after its removed."
So last Monday morning Husband shaved off his chin whiskers and off we went. And an hour after getting there, he was done.
"Well," he starts to tell me, "they had me lay on my side, they covered my head with a blue sterile cloth and..."
I wanted to cut to the chase. Get to the meat of the issue. You know, dig in and find out what it looks like.
"They didn't show it to me."
What do you mean?
"They took it away."
Didn't you demand to see it?
"No. The doctor didn't think it was anymore than what he thought..."
Damn it man: WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?
"He said it was larger that I would have imagined, a clear sack filled with what looked like yellow cheese," said the husband.
See, if were me, I would have made it clear that I would have wanted to see the damn thing because it was mine to begin with. But the husband and his family tend to take people at their word, and they lack the morbid curiosity that our family has. I mean, I have my great grandmothers gall stones in a box from 1920.
Or so I thought.
That night we called Husband's Sister and Brother. After the hello's and how do you do's, Husband said that he had the surgery, and...
"Did you see it?" Asked my sister in law.
No says my husband, to which she responds "What do you mean you didn't see it. I would have wanted to see it."
The Brother walks in and asks if Husband had the surgery, and sister in law says "Yes, but he didn't see it after it was out."
"Why didn't you see it? I would have wanted to know what it looks like," say brother in law.
Husband tells them the description - a clear sack filled with what looked like yellow cheese. Brother in Law says "And you didn't ask to see that? I would have wanted to see that."
Needless to say, it had to be sent to the lab, so we didn't get to take it home in a jar. It was probably incinerated. A perfectly good lipoma, turned to dust.
We had the same "Did you get to see it," discussion with a couple of the neighbors. Their reactions were just like mine. Actually one went a bit further.
"I would have demanded it back and had it encased in acrylic for a paperweight."
Anyway, the husband is fine, and the doctor did beautiful work. The stitches come out first of next week.
If you are feeling ghoulish, here is a brief video of how the procedure was handled and what came out.
But the husband's was larger than this one. Never mind me, just bragging.
But yeah, I would have liked to have seen it.
And I bet Endodontist will be disappointed, too.