Thursday, October 23, 2014
Yes, the pieces parts are all falling into place.
As I said yesterday in my brief filing, I am home and I am healing. Moreover, I am looking forward to being able to sleep on my side tonight.
Surgery was on Monday at half past crack, and before hand my doctor asked "What is your greatest fear?"
The temporary colostomy, my reply.
"But that is not in my plan," says he. With my feelings of fear assuaged, they wheeled me into the room, which was a lot nicer than the surgical suite in Columbus, and I saw the stirrups, and a man said, you may feel sleepy and *POOF* the next thing I know a nurse is telling me to wake up.
The scariest thing that I saw was a Foley catheter. And the mother fucker hurt. But other than that, no colostomy.
So essentially, I had the catheter because they illuminate your ureters so they don't injure them during the process of rerouting the body's poop pipe by snipping them. Mine hurt plenty because the stents used got to delicate tissues. In any event, they pulled the catheter on Tuesday and pee fest began - 24 hours of almost constant peeing.
But that was not the worst. Nor was my first shit with the new poop pipe.
The worst was bland diet dinner Tuesday - manicotti alfredo. I won't go into the details, but it was beyond vile. It was almost on par with Cream of Dyke soup. So bad that I asked for an injection of dilaudid to forget.
And oh my God did I love the dilaudid. Now I understand how easily it could be to get addicted to something like this. Eugene O'Neil made immediate sense to me. Within seconds of it coursing through my body I felt like a cross between a slut and a boll weevil. I nestled into my bed and slept for hours. Delicious.
Anyhow, Wednesday morning, my Doctor's practice partner made rounds and I was told I could go home. And here I am. I do not like the Ultraset. So I am managing with Aleve. Feels good to be off that junk.
So over the next month, I'll learn to monitor my body's new rhythms. Bland diet until then. Lots of soup. Next Tuesday, Doctor will pull out my staples and then the next phase of recovery starts anew!