Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Belle Watling's lights live here and some chainmail that doesn't.



This is the dining room light that came with the new house.  It has two matching sconces.   I think that they're a little too Belle Watling for our tastes.  The husband agrees.  But our tastes are expensive when it comes to lighting, and replacing these lights isn't in the immediate budget, so I guess we have to live with them.

I suggested to the husband that we paint the Dining Room red in their honor.  He's afraid that people would talk.

When I mentioned "Belle Watling" to a down the street neighbor—she, who is in her 30's—said "who?"

"You know, Ona Munson?"

"Own a Munson?  Munson is the name of the company that made that light?" she replied.

And something inside of me died, just a bit.   I explained the Gone With the Wind reference, and still it and the sarcasm didn't register.  The only feedback was the sound of crickets outdoors, and a bit more of me died.  It's a bitch growing old.

The lights hadn't been cleaned since LBJ was in the office.  The pendants were brown with cigarette tar, and most of them were handed to us in a box, chipped and their wires broken. The ones that remained on the fixture were fragile.  Just lifting them from the fixture caused most of the remaining wires to snap.  The lighting store wanted $10 a "dangle" to restring them.

"You could do them yourself a whole lot cheaper," said the man.

I thought about this.  Spend $400 to have him string these damned things, or spend $10 on a role of wire and do it myself.  What to do, what to do.

So I went to Joann Fabrics and Crafts and went looking for wire.  Jesus, they have a lot crap in those stores, and most of what they have you can add glitter too, if you choose.

Finally, having no luck, I found an employee, a young woman, who seemed to pulsing off a dykadelic vibe.   I asked her where they kept the wire.

"For crafting chainmail, I recommend something sturdier.  If you are repairing your existing chainmail..."

"I'm restringing crystals for a chandelier," I replied.

"Oh....in the floral department."  She looked crestfallen that I was not crafting chainmail.

Someone asked what I was wearing when this occurred.

"Tee shirt, cargo shorts and birkenstocks."

"Well," if I saw a womyn wearing that, then I would have gone with chainmail," said Friend.  "But you never know.  It must have been the Birks.  They are so out of date."

"AND," she added, "Ren Fair is coming up, so if you were going to be letting your last years chainmail out, now would be the time to do it."

Anyway, the Chandelier is clean, the bulbs save one, have all been replaced with LED bulbs.  Now I am off to Home Depot to find that last bulb. I will try not to look too dykadelic myself lest I mislead people again.

Still, I am now all sparkly, pleased as punch that at least its clean and not one piece of chainmail or Glitter was used to make it all work.

 

16 comments:

  1. Birks are out of date? oh no. oh no, indeed.

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  2. Birks are out of date? oh no. oh no, indeed.

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  3. I give you credit for not going to Hobby Lobby because they don't like the gays. I don't know what chainmail is??????

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    1. Carl, I will not go to Hobby Lobby. And I certainly will not go to Chik-fil-A. I would rather eat a gas station hotdog than put on penny in Dan Cathy's pocket book.

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    2. Hobby Lobby I can live without. AC Moore is my go to craft store. Chik Fil A, while I love them, may the ghost of Liberace forgive me, there's only one in our immediate area and it's at the University of Scranton. It's not worth the hassle with so many great diners to go to.
      But Sir, what is chainmail???

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    3. Chainmail? Think Knights of Yore, and their Armor suits. Chainmail is the chain linked fabric that they wore under the armor.

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  4. I loves me some Belle Watling and I really like your newly sparkly light fixtures.

    I don't love big box craft stores. I won't shop in Hobby Lobby (political reasons aside) because they simply don't carry the quality of fabrics I'm looking for, plus whose hobby is furniture and tchochkies?

    Chainmail I am familiar with (though not dykadelic) because I misspent a lot of my youth making costumes (which was more fun than going to the Faire.) Carlnepa, picture Monty Python and the Holy Grail-- Graham Chapman was wearing it as part of his crown.

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    1. African or European? Thank you. I thought it was some type of (s)crapbooking. Seems I should have known that. Thanks for your explanation!

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  5. Look, Bobby Jean - There's a plate on a wall...

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    1. That just isn't any plate! That's the family charger from the inlaws family! It's been passed down, generation to generation, from 1701. There's a piece of parchment (the real stuff) on the back with all the names from 1701 to 1887 inscribed on it. One of the names is of a Revolutionary War patriot shot by the British on the retreat from Concord. It's been dated, appraised (the plate dates to the 1600s), the whole nine yards. Jeezy, I am terrified of the thing because I don't want to be the family member that is responsible for it when it meets it's end. I just want my name on the back, then its going to the Cambridge, Massachusetts Historical Society.

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  6. you're right, they certainly have a 19th century feel. but hey, don't we all.

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    1. I was going to say "speak for yourself, Norma" but I actually quite like them.

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    2. At some point I held them to my titties and said "I would hang you from the nipples, but it would shock the children," in your honor, Norma.

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  7. Oh, Cookie, the chainmail dyke story is to die for! Brilliant (for us, not for you, I suppose)!

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  8. Tell your neighbour who's never heard of Ona Munson she *has* to watch the Josef Von Sternberg film The Shanghai Gesture. And I'm determined to use "pulsing off a dykadelic vibe" in a sentence today. x

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    1. Sweetie, use it three times and it is yours for a lifetime!

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