Monday, June 30, 2014

You can never tell when or where Tropical Storm (Uncle) Arthur will turn up

Well, it seems as if Hurricane Season is upon us, again. Fudge.

The first tropical storm of the season is Arthur, and Arthur is bound and determined to louse up the Fourth of July Weekend, which is Christmas time for Marylanders who lead charmed lives and can head to the beach, while the rest of us poor suckers are sweltering 100% humidity.

Its not Arthur that has me blue - its just with tropical depressions, come rain and wind, and that leads to power outages, which Cookie despises.  BGE did raise our supply lines up by 20 feet, however, the line for the neighborhood feeds along the side of our house from the street and there are plenty-o-big old trees that are just waiting for operatic finish in a big old storm.


This years names are as follows: Arthur Bertha Cristobal Dolly Edouard Fay Gustav Hanna Ike Josephine Kyle Laura Marco Nana Omar Paloma Rene Sally Teddy Vicky and Wilfred. If we go beyond this motley lot, then the storms are named after the greek alphabet, if needed. So evidently Uriah, Xerxes, Yolanda and Zasu will have to wait it out another year. Pity.

So I pose the question: If you could rename an entire storm season, from A to Z, what would it be, and which alphabet from the languages of the world would follow?

Monday, June 23, 2014

We cannot allow John Paulk to rise again

The other day, Cookie saw something on Politico, the pseudo news web site that gave Cookie cause for concern.

John Paulk, the former head of Exodus International, being featured in his first public feature - a self written piece - was telling the world what life for him has been like since he recanted his claims that reparative therapy works.

You see, much like an alcoholic needs a drink, Paulk needs to be the center of attention.

In undergraduate school when he and I would hang out together - and don't get me wrong, John was a lot of fun until you discovered the knife in your back - John was in vocal studies at The Ohio State University in vocal music.  He is a performer.

He performed when he was in school.

He performed when he was a prostitute.

He performed when he morphed into "Candi" the drag queen (and wore his mothers clothing, without her knowledge) at the Ruby Slipper in Columbus.

He performed when he claimed to have discovered God.

He performed when he became the face of Exodus International and held sway over audiences at his forums.

He performed as "John Clint" in Mr. P's bar and grill in Washington DC when he was trying to hustle drinks from men.

And he performed when he was  confronted by Wayne Beeson that night in the bar and lied about who he was.

And he tried to perform for James Dobson when confronted about his behavior.

But Dobson wasn't buying it.

Since his fall from grace, he's been performing on Oregon TV stations as "Chef John"; he is a restauranteur, still married and the father of two.

But it took him until last year, where in a short apology, he admitted that reparative therapy does not work, and that he identifies as a gay man.   He also is a victim - the same type of victim as the others who was fooled by the intoxicating sirens call of redemption from homosexuality.

Now, in the Politico piece he is attempting to reform his image.

While he can be contrite, and claims that one cannot undo their sexual identity, the same is true of his pathology: you can not reform a manipulator.

Like a leopard never can change their spots, narcissist is what they are to their very marrow, and despite what they say, the narcissist does not change.

Cookie has never believed a word out of Paulk's mouth.  To Cookie, Mary McCarthy's critique of Lillian Hellman applies to le Paulk.

But the gay community cannot afford to embrace John Paulk.  As Cookie wrote in 1998, "If the Christian right wing sleeps better at night safe in the comfort that people like John Paulk are there to defend their ideals and promote the "Exodus cure," then I would advise them to start sleeping with one eye open. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I predict that John Paulk will yet recreate himself again when this folly, like the ones before, runs its course."

While what he writes and what he says appear golden, never forget that his words coming out of his smiling face are nothing more than iron pyrite.  John Paulk is of dubious value to anyone foolish enough to trust him.

And there have been people in the gay community who are willing to let bygones be bygones.  To those who choose to trust Paulk on this latest caprice, Cookie warns you to sleep with one eye open.  He has a way of swinging to and fro.  His well documented track record if proof of that.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Yahoo Reports: Eric Cantor "goes down" and "no one saw it coming"

With internet media, we have Associated Press, we have bloggers who get it wrong most of the time, and we "Yahoo News".  The name makes Cookie's flesh crawl.  Thirty years ago when you got "Yahoo News" it was about some idiot in the Ozark who has a pig that looked like Jesus Christ.

Moreover, I have a hard time suppressing that vision of a grit pointing to his barrow, while it wallows in the mud, and saying "The face is the spittin' image our Jesus as he wept."

Cookie misses the day when editors made sure that headline writers used to use succinct wording to tell a story in a limited number of characters.

For example, in the days of print media, when column inches were the rule of thumb, the Top headline would have read: "Washington Stunned by Cantor Loss".   Simple, eh?

Instead, see above, And Washington, DC,  just wasn't caught off guard, but Washington is caught, not partially, but totally off guard.  No one, absolutely no one, not even one idiot saw this about to happen?  Really?

Being no fan of Eric Cantor - he reminds Cookie of a snide asshole college roommate - I was surprised by the news, and I was caught off guard - pleasantly so.  But I am old enough to know that in politics, nothing should totally surprise you.

However, it is the second headline that made Cookie chortle and role the eyes this morning:

"The second-highest ranking Republican in the House goes down, and no one saw it coming."

So did Cantor lose the election or did he do a Colonel Angus on some woman?

If Eric Cantor were to go down on a dick, no one would have seen that coming, either, I guarantee it.

What Cantor did was what his own hubris, and a safely Republican district, deemed improbable.  He lost the primary election to someone more conservative than he is, and in doing so, he also became the first sitting House Majority Leader to lose.  And it wasn't one of those 49.4% to 49.55% loses, it was a ten point spread.

A better secondary headline, one that was clear would have read: "Unpredicted primary defeat for House Majority Leader dumbfounds Washington insiders."  Or they could have gone with "First sitting House Majority Leader to lose in primary election."

Officially, Cantor is now a lame duck, and wins the Fickle Finger of Fate Award: he is now a Jeopardy question, ("This Congressional Majority Leader was the first to suffer defeat in a primary election."  Who is Eric Cantor?") all in one.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Thank goodness that meteorological summer has arrived!

 left to right Donna Lethal, Mr. Peenee, Norma Desmond and Muscato celebrate white shoe weather with cocktails and dinner at Little Chin's Chop Suey Palace.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

June is our month!

I normally don't get mushy with June being Pride Month, but damn it, this June I am!

When I first came out to myself on January 21, 1983, the world was quite different than it is today.  Lesbians, gay men and bi-sexuals were still viewed as pariahs in much of the US.  And back then, just as I always imagined there would be rotary dial phones and that Jesse Helms would never die, many of us never imagined that same sex marriage ever could be possible or that Edie Windsor would prevail in front of the Supreme Court.

So this pride, the first full year since Windsor, we have seen state after state challenged in court, and in North Carolina we have seen the United Christ of Christ sue the state because the church feels that North Carolina laws in banning same sex are infringing on the church's right to help same sex couples marry.

Who would have thought that we would have ever seen that?

And with the death of Fred Phelps, it appears that his Westboro Baptist Church is unwinding as it struggles to find purpose now that the old asshole is dead.  Great, huh?

There is a long road to travel, but this Pride month, I am celebrating everything from the growing freedom to marry, to getting a HUGE income tax refund because we could file jointly as married people.

Make merry this month!