Sunday, November 15, 2015

Doing Things You Hope Never to Do & Then Good Fortune: We are in contract!

A friend found this piece of "Made in Occupied Japan" and didn't
buy it.  I would have loved owning it.   


I will tell you - sometimes you have to do things that you hope no human will ever have to do to get a home sold.

But it looks like it took TWO St. Joseph statues to get the old place sold.

Around the first of November, Cookie and the Husband were beginning to get a bit scared.  No offers, no traffic, nada.  We had dropped the price of the Tudor Cottage to our lowest point.  And nothing.

There is a bit of superstition that in you bury a statue of St. Joseph upside down on the property lot (or in a potted plant if you life in an a hi-rise) and tell said religious statue as the patron saint of families that you need to sell the house so your family can be reunited as one, St. Joe will get the job done.

Well, we had buried the St. Joe that we used in Columbus and buried him upside down (per tradition) in the yard and waited.  NOTHING.  I moved him to a better spot and the house across of the street sold instead.  My realtor, fearing that I would dig up St. Joe a third time, and on the verge of hysterics, begging me not to disturb the mojo suggested a second St. Joseph.

Couldn't hurt.

Then we found three families that wanted to rent the house, through May of 2017.  Well that would take care of our mortgage payment and property taxes, and while not ideal, sometimes you take what you gotta take.

Still, I buried that second St. Joseph in the back yard.

I hunted down the first St. Joseph only to find him laying down under the inkberry holly where I put him on his head.

So I dug him up and replanted him, upside down - as tradition dictates - threatening him (also, as tradition dictates) to leave him there until he found a buyer.  Furthermore, I told him that he would spend eternity in the ground IF the St. Joseph in the back sold the house first.

Now, before anyone calls the boys from Happy Valley to put cookie in the padded room - remember, sometimes you have to do things that you hope you would never resort to to change the energy around you.

And you know what?  As the lease was being prepped, we had twenty showings, six second showings and *TING!* we found ourselves in contract!

Better yet - the contract is for "As-IS" on the house.

Thank Christ and Saints Joseph and Joseph!

Our targeted close is December 31st.

15 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I wish I owned this. My friend Bill found it for sale on eBay and didn't bid on it. I could have slapped him.

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    2. You used "Chachkahs" to needle me, didn't you...

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    3. For those of you who didn't read that post, I once worked for a man who was Golum from The Lord of Rings trilogy. A nasty little beast of a man who would clip his nails in his office during business hours. He LOVED referring to "convention" give aways (those useless marketing toys that vendors passout) as "Cha-kahs". When I asked him what a Cha-kah was it became apparent that he meant "tchotchke", which is Yiddish for a trinket, I made the mistake of saying, "Oh, you mean tchotch·ke." He then corrected me by saying "The word is Chakas. You evidently don't know how Jews speak..." (I said he was a troll and sub human.) Well, if you are going use words from my father's people and butcher it, damn it, I am not jumping off that cliff with you. So when the "Chakahs" came in, I labeled the box "tchotchkes". While the convention is going on, I get this call from him cursing me up and down. "You forgot to ship the damned Chakahs to the convention hall." They're there. in a box marked tchotchkes, and "I spelled it correctly." I quit two weeks later. I can work for an asshole. But I can't work for a shithead.

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    4. those pills, in the medicine cabinet? take two.

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  2. I was beginning to think that if the house didn't sell, you'd be burying your realtor upside down in the yard.

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    1. I simply adore our realtor. Best rear end in Baltimore. But it isn't his fault - it's the market and the time of the year. Relator has had the house open every weekend since August, even when we were in contract with the Contingency Family, have featured it prominently on even known piece of media, but nothing. There are now five houses for sale within 1000 feet of our and they have different realtors, some story.

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  3. Funny. I did that on our last house. Though Joseph probably was a Jew, it was odd for me to buy what I considered a Catholic statue. The house sold in two days of burying that guy. You'll hate me, but I was nervous after 14 days on the market (we bought it when it was 5 days - and we left it in much better shape). So it sold in 16 days. It's not enough to make me convert or anything, but......

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    Replies
    1. In Columbus we were on the market for 14 days before we went into contract, and trust me - I was a nervous wreck at that.

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  4. Anything like that for finding a good job?

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    Replies
    1. I wish. I'd be humping that statue for a decent job.

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  5. Replies
    1. CatholicsRUs stores. Or Amazon, so no one need know your secret shame...

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  6. Congratulations!

    I'll have to make a note of this in my spell book.

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    Replies
    1. If you come across a spell to get the realtor to drop his pants so I can munch on that fabulous ass of his, let me know. So round, so firm. Woof.

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