Where has Cookie been these last few days?
Well, where haven't I been.
I have been to the airport a great deal of the time, and waiting, and being shuttled here and there. And when I haven't been in those situations I have been on line, on the phone and standing on my head with the mortgage processor playing games, like this one last Wednesday, August 1st:
Processor: "...and once you have faxed those documents to me, then we can finalize your paperwork with underwriting."So I do as she says (and you know that is difficult as I have issues with authority figures), and double check my work and fax her EVERYTHING that she wants and then I get another call:
Cookie: "So you need a copy of this Document, and that Document, and then you need the following tax forms, A, B and C, correct? Are there any other documents?
Processor: "No, we should be fine."
Processor: "Yes, I have received your fax but these documents from your financial institution are system copies of screens - I need the actual statements."
Cookie: "They are stamped and notarized as factual account histories. The actual statements are being printed and then they'll be mailed. They should be here by Saturday."
Processor: "Well, I need you statement TODAY, by close of business today. If you banked with us, you could get your statement online, right now."
Cookie: "Yes, but we don't bank with your because there are no branches of your bank for at least 200 miles. Your bank has no offices in Ohio."
Processor: "We don't? I don't think that's true. We have offices everywhere."
Cookie: "You work for them, look it up. Besides, as a bank, you can't require that I bank with you in order to get a loan. Shall I quote Reg B (Equal Credit Opportunity Act) - I train people in for a living."
Processor: "You know Reg B? Well, what do you know - the nearest branch to you is Pittsburgh! But you could have opened your account with online. Well, I guess, Monday will be fine with that statement. I'll tell underwriting."
So that is where Cookie has been - hitting his head against the wall.